Ep. 043: How to Rock at In-Person Networking
If you think your online business won't benefit from in-person networking, think again! Or maybe you know you should be making local connections but networking events scare the heck out of you. Well I'm going to help you break through your networking anxiety as I share some simple things to consider before, during, and after you go to any networking event.
There's so much power in personal connection and you don't have to go to tons of events to see real benefits from it.
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Erika Tebbens: Today's episode was inspired by an Instagram DM that I got when I went to an in-person networking event last month in the new town that I just moved to. So somebody had messaged me um, well, let me back up in the stories of talking about how I was about to go into a new, a new to me event for the first time, uh, since moving. And that, even though I love networking and in-person networking that I was still a little bit nervous, right?
It's meets like being the new kid at school that comes in the middle of the year. Right? It's always a little bit nerve-wracking to, to meet new people. And, uh, and she said that, you know, she just, she felt nervous about it. She felt like she didn't know what to do or say, uh, any of those, any of those things, right?
That we worry about when we think about in-person networking. And so I gave her my advice and my little tidbits of what I think about and what I do and why it ends up working pretty well for me. And then I thought, you know, what, if she's asking, I'm sure other people have questions too. And before you're like, "You know what, I'm not, I'm not going to waste my time on this. I started an online business and I did that because I didn't ever want to have to, uh, engage with people in real life."
Well, if you truly, truly, truly, uh, like live in the middle of nowhere and do not want to engage with a living person, face-to-face all, then char you can probably skip this episode. But if you are finding that you want to expand your, reach, your visibility, you want to, uh, have more people know that you exist. That you also just really want to create a network of people who also understand what it's like to run a business, right?
That you can commiserate with, or even collaborate with, then in-person networking is awesome. And yes, even if you're an introvert, it can be awesome. So I will say I am an extrovert. I love peopling. Um, the older I get, the more, I really do appreciate my, my downtime as well. So I certainly am not one of those like power networking people.
I'm not going to all of the events all of the time. Um, that would really, really, really drain me. Plus it takes away from my actual working time. Right? So here are my best tips before you even get to an event. So I would look around, uh, through, you know, Google or ask in your local connections or anything like that look up your local chamber of commerce and any other business groups you may know of in the area and look at what they have going on. Um, you can also slams if you look on like meetup or event Brite or things, any of those like online platforms. You can also find events that way. So you want to look at what is available in your area first and get a sense of, "Is this something that might work for me?"
Right? So I primarily work with people who identify as women. And so a lot of times I will look for events that are just for women, right? Because that is where my ideal clients and audience are. So that right there helps me to narrow it down. Now, this does not mean I only go to events that are just for women.
I actually went to two events last month. Uh, both new to me since I just moved to this new town and one was for women and one was just in general. Uh, and the reason why I picked the one that was not specific to women is because I had heard good things about the organization from our realtor. Uh, and it was going to be right in my smaller town.
So I didn't have to drive very far. And it was going to be at a co-working space that I had heard good things about. And yeah, it's just, I don't know. It seemed like it had a cool vibe when I checked it out online. So I thought, "Hey, I'll give it a whirl." So right there, do a little bit of research and find an event that feels like right from the get-go, it's going to be, hopefully a better fit for you and maybe you live in a small town and you only really have like chamber mixers and meetups and stuff. That's fine too. But, uh, at least to a little bit of due diligence to see. And this way you can be more intentional with your time, right? With your networking time. Then what you want to do is, uh, just know that like the people are there to meet other people. Right? So it doesn't have to be weird. It doesn't, you don't have to feel like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be that new kid at school. And everyone's formed their cliques and no one's going to accept me." Right? Cause people really go to networking events because they want to network.
Now, you might find an event that is a total dead and does feel like high school. And it does feel clique-y and all of that. That's a real bummer. But then, you know, "Hey, I don't ever have to go back to this one." Right? So a lot of times events as well. Uh, especially if it's something that requires an annual or a monthly membership, a lot of times you can go the first time as a guest for free.
So, uh, be sure to take advantage of that. And other times, if you just have to pay a per session, like, especially if it's, um, a lunch or a dinner event, then you know, you could just pay for it once and then see how it goes. Usually they're not more than like 30 or $40. And it's a business, business expense.
So be sure to save your receipt and log it, but that's a different conversation for a different podcast episode. So just know that even though you will feel probably a little awkward the very first time you go, and it can always feel weird to try to like meet new people and make new friends, especially as an adult, just know that the whole purpose of people being there is to network and meet new people.
Obviously, you want to bring business cards if you have them. And I would say, don't worry too, too much about how you look. Right? So sometimes events will say, uh, like not like a full on dress code. Right? But, you know, they'll, they'll kind of let you know ahead of time, like, is this, uh, like a more dressed up event is business casual?
Like what is it? Granted not everyone, well, like not every event will tell you. But the one that I used to go to monthly in New York, it would say like, because it was for women and a lot of times women are like, okay, but like, "How am I supposed to dress?" Right? "Is me super dressy is going to be super casual somewhere in between?"
And so it would kind of give an overview of what to expect. Now, this doesn't mean that you absolutely had to follow a certain dress code. It was just a really helpful way to not feel super stressed about that one piece of the puzzle before you show up. Right? So, because you know, I'm all about showing up as your authentic self, I definitely am not going to go to a networking event and like ratty yoga pants, which I might work in at my desk, but I'm also not going to go to one of them in like a full-on, uh, you know, pants suit and heels situation. Cause I personally just a bit more laid back than that. If you are pants, suit and heels, like you rock it out. Uh, put that, put your favorite pants suit on and your favorite pair of heels and you know, and flaunt it.
Right? So that is another way, just like, you know, don't feel like you have to go out and buy a whole new outfit and get super dressed up and do this big song and dance. Right? Cause that's, I don't know. You're just, you're going to feel really uncomfortable. Make sure that you're comfortable in whatever you're wearing and that you have business cards. And then be ready to chit chat and mingle. And know that if it's not the greatest experience, you don't have to go back. Right? So now you have figured out the event you're going to go to. You figured out something comfortable yet semi-professional to wear. You have your business cards. You have an open mind, now it is the time of the event.
So you get there and just put yourself out there, shake hands, introduce yourself, meet people and be normal. So it's kind of funny that I would say be normal. Cause I feel like I'm hardly ever normal. But what I mean by that is just chat like you would as if it was a cocktail party. Right? So don't put so much pressure on yourself to wow other people with what you do. It's really more about making those authentic connections. Now you will notice that sometimes people love to try to wow you and that can be really annoying. Right? So when there are those, uh, networking events and perhaps you've even been to some where there's the person that is just going all around the room, trying to shake everyone's hands, shoving business cards in their faces, and it's just a bit much. Don't worry, you do not have to be like this in order for it to be impactful on your business. Just treat it like you would a cocktail party or a backyard barbecue, where you are just going around and you are introducing yourself and you are chatting it up with people. And I really suggest focusing on the other person. Ask them questions, uh, find out about what they do.
Um, you know, like where do they, where do they live? What do they do for fun? Any of those things that you would just ask a normal person? Now, this doesn't mean it has to be like 20 questions. You don't have to get their whole life history. But just be interested in them. Right? And have a really fun dialogue.
Don't vomit all about your business to them. Uh, if they ask questions, which they probably will, of course you want to answer them and you want to talk about your business and all of that, but this is not a time to pitch. This as a time to build connections. And then it's a really great idea to make sure that you're getting their information, right?
So get their business card, uh, you know, see if you can follow them on social media, whatever is most comfortable for you. But capture their contact info in some way, shape or form. And what you also want to do is really, again, just like with how you dress, be yourself. Okay. So, uh, recently I had this epiphany, that I was really hating on LinkedIn because I felt like a lot of people were using it in the weird networking way. Right? That networking way, that feels very like in your face. And that I don't like from in-person events. And I realized that I was trying to replicate online this way of behaving that I wouldn't add an in-person event.
So I was like, "I don't, I don't like this. I feel really like turned off by this." And then I thought, "Wait, what if I show up on LinkedIn the same exact way I would at an in-person event.?" And what I mean by that is when I met an in-person event, I really don't try to censor myself very much at all. I mean, I'm not going to drop like some massive, massive swear words or, or anything like that. Uh, and I'm not going to be incredibly obnoxious. But you know, if the conversation turns to true crime podcasts, let's say or weird documentaries about cults, then I'm going to talk about it because those are things that I like to talk about.
I don't shy away from, I don't care if people think that's weird, like those are hobbies of mine. Those are interests of mine. Right? I am going to just talk to them naturally. Like I would human to human. And what I found is that when I do that, it's not that everyone else I talked to is like, "Oh my gosh, I'm totally into that too."
Uh it's but I, I actually do find a lot of people who are also into that, which is great, but they also get a chance to know the real me, right? They, they know who I am and what I'm all about and how I am outside of my business, which is really kind of cool. Right? It's it's something that is, um, It, it makes you more three-dimensional is what I'm trying to say.
So don't shy away from being yourself. This is not a job interview. I mean, that doesn't mean you be rude and gross or anything like that. But don't be so stressed feeling like it's a job interview. You can be yourself because ultimately you want people to know the real you, so either they end up wanting to work with you because they resonate with you, or they think of people that they can refer to you.
And it's just so much easier when they know who they're really dealing with. Right? You cut right through a lot of the BS, uh, so much faster that way. So then what you're going to want to do is you have been authentic. You've chatted, like normal human. You've gotten their contact info some way shape or form.
And if it's somebody that you really, really resonated with, then you follow up, right? So you figure out, do we do an in-person coffee chat? Do we go out and have a glass of wine together? Uh, do we hop on zoom for a virtual coffee chat? Do we connect on LinkedIn or Instagram? And we messaged each other. You know, like, what is the next step that we are going to take from there?
So. That networking event is sort of like the, the entryway. Right? And now you're taking them from the entryway into your living room. You're going to sit down and you're going to get to know them even better. Now, again, this doesn't mean that you two are going to do paid work with each other at some point.
I mean, you might, but not always. It could be that you find that you could actually collaborate on something together, which is really cool. Or maybe you have people you can refer to them or they have people they can refer to you. There's a lot of different ways that you can build out beneficial working relationships and networking relationships.
But what's fun is as you get to know them better, you get to see that bigger picture of what is possible. Now, there will always be people who you meet, where you're like, "Well, they were lovely to chat with for a few minutes at the event, but I don't really feel super inspired to like, get to know them a lot after the event."
Not for anything bad, but maybe it just, it doesn't make sense. Right? Like maybe they are a realtor and they seem nice enough, but maybe your very best friend, is also a realtor. And so you only ever refer people to your best friend. Now, this doesn't mean that you can't have a follow-up conversation with this person, but it might just be that you're like, "Well, my time is really limited. And I would rather set up coffee chats with these other people and not this one person, or maybe at some point down the road, I'll chat with them more, but not right now."
Or maybe you just didn't get a good vibe from them regardless. Like maybe you don't have somebody else that does the same thing they do, but you're just kind of like, "Eh, they're not really my people." Right?
That is okay too. So the key is you in every step of the way, you want to show up as yourself. You want to be as, you know, calm and sort of chill as possible. So if, if you're feeling really nervous before you walk into that event, sit in your car, do a few deep breaths. Uh, tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself to, uh, know that everything's going to be okay.
That other people feel awkward and nervous too. Right? And just go in with an open mind and a positive attitude that all you're really there to do is meet new people, make new connections and then see what is possible. So then the really cool thing is, is that a lot of times, uh, you end up forming these deeper relationships with some of the people there and then, since you have formed those deeper relationships and connections, subsequent meetings of that group feel less and less nerve-racking. Right? Because now, you know, people now, when you show up, you know, "Hey, there's at least a handful of people here that I've spoken with before that I feel comfortable with and I can chat with them."
And then, "Hey, as these new people come in to the fold, like I can be opening and welcoming to them too, because they probably feel nervous. And I want to put them at ease." So that is really what it's all about. It's about, um, showing up, making those connections and then seeing how you can deepen those connections for the mutual benefit of you and the other people.
I will say that I have gotten a lot of cool opportunities, both for paid work in my business and also really cool collaborations and connections and opportunities, all sorts of things I wouldn't have had if I didn't do in-person networking. And again, I don't do a million things a month. Uh, not part of any BNI groups or anything like that.
I don't go to every single chamber event. I'm not here, there and everywhere. I am selective. And I am consistent. And I really am just all about forming those relationships and connections and not trying to pitch myself and shove a business card, uh, in, into everyone's face at the events. So. If you have any questions, if you're like, okay, "I just, you know, need a little, little boost, little encouragement." or anything.
I hang out most of the time on Instagram @erikatebbensconsulting. You can also find me on LinkedIn now, too. Now that I've kind of gotten over that weird mindset thing with it. Now I hang out over there. And, um, just my fun, regular old self. And if the people of LinkedIn don't like it, well then too bad for them.
So I'm also over there at link at, uh, @erikatebbensconsulting on LinkedIn, but you know, find me, connect with me, message me. Tell me if you have a favorite networking event near you. And also one last little bonus tip. If you are extra brave, and I would really encourage you to be. If you look and you find that there are no meetups or events that speak to you, near you, be bold and try to start one, right?
Try to recruit some of the people that you already know locally and find a day at a time and a place that works for you, and then put it out there. Go on meetup.com, register your meetup and, you know, see what happens. Because what's really cool about that is that you then get to be seen as the authority for that space.
And you can also make a very niche meetup if you want. So let's just say you are a sleep coach and you want to create a meetup of moms of young kids. Right? So you can do that. And then that is also a way to help boost your visibility, your platform as a trusted expert and all of that. Right? So, uh, so that can be really, really, really beneficial to your business as well.
Now that is definitely a more like 2.0, rather than like 1.0. Uh, but I say, why not? Freaking go for it. Uh, that, especially if you've been established in an area for a bit, and you already have some connections and you know, a cool like coffee shop or place, you can have it like, heck yeah, go out there and, and do it.
And then report back to me. And as always. Uh, you know, signed in my DMs, say "Hi", I love meeting my listeners. I love hearing their takeaways and as always, happy selling.
