Ep. 082: The Difference between Ambition & Productivity

A client said on a recent call that she'd seen an IG post where I mentioned ambition and it made her realize she's no longer ambitious. As we began to chat more about that I realized what she was saying was that since she's intentionally not as productive as she used to be, it must mean she's lost her drive. We are obsessed with output and so we often equate chasing dreams with conquering To Do lists. I'm here to say that you can be very ambitious and want to live a purposeful life and also prioritize rest. And for long term success, you should!

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  Welcome back to the, sell it sister podcast today. I want to talk a bit about something that I had posted on Instagram recently, and actually a client of mine had mentioned it to me in a recent session, a recent, um, coaching call together. And it was about ambition. So I'd done a post saying that people.

  People who aren't ambitious bore me, which sounds kind of mean, but bear with me. And she was saying to me, she was like, I don't feel like I'm ambitious anymore. And we were talking, cause in my mind I was like, no, she's. She's totally ambitious. Right? Like she invested in me and she's doing the work and everything.

  And I know that at her core, she is ambitious. And as we talked about it, I realized what was, uh, what it really was. It was productivity or how we view productivity, at least like in America, I can only speak to America. I've only lived in America. Um, but how, how we view productivity and how we often link incorrectly ambition and the ability to just, you know, get more shit done and, and hustle and grind and all of that.

  So let me first say that, uh, what I, how I like to, um, how I like to think of. Ambition. And what I met in my Instagram post is not that people who, you know, not that I have anything fundamentally against people who don't have big dreams and goals. It's just more that I. I don't really, I feel like I don't have a lot in common with people who are just okay with if settling and like allowing life to happen to them.

  So I, I do like, I have gotten better as someone who loves to be in control. I have gotten a lot better about not needing to control everything all of the time, but I also want to create my own destiny. Right. So that, that is sort of what, I mean, like the people who I love to mastermind with to be in community with too.

  You know, digitally, hang out with are all people who have some sort of ambition, even if it's vastly different than what my end goal looks like. Right. They might want way more money than. What I'm hoping to get from my business, or they might not even, you know, or maybe it's a less, or maybe they want an entirely different kind of business, or maybe it's not even a business at all.

  Like one of, one of my very good friends is an amazing nurse and she has big dreams and goals and it's, they're not really centered around, uh, a normal like business, like, uh, Uh, digital, you know, online type business, it's completely in a different realm. It's the realm of like nursing, like inclusive nursing, all of that.

  And she has, she has ambition. She has goals and it's exciting. Uh, for me to, you know, see what she's up to see what she's doing. Uh, even when it's a struggle, even when she's like, I don't know when this is going to happen. I don't know when this is going to come to fruition. I feel really frustrated. Right?

  It's it's just that essence of knowing that she doesn't want to just allow. Life to happen to her and settle for whatever comes her way. She wants to, you know, have, have autonomy, like have ownership over her life and influence her own path in a, in a really positive, healthy way. Am. I imagine if you're here, you're not offended anyways, because chances are, if you're here, you do have goals and ambitions, and you're not just laying on your couch, randomly listening to a business podcast.

  If you don't give two shits about having a thriving business. Right. And whatever thriving looks like to you, but like you want more and it's okay to want more. So I don't imagine I've offended anyone here, but. What I realized is we have, and this wasn't my first time of, of realizing this, but it was illuminated in my conversation with my client is that we often get ambition and productivity.

  Uh, it like intwined with each other right. And tangled with each other. So usually we like what, what we, uh, fettered out in our conversation was that she has taken on a slower pace this year. And especially, you know, since the onset of COVID in the U S she has two daughters and a working husband, and she had kind of.

  Like slow down and step back from her business. And then we work together to restructure it and figure out the next way forward. And then we might even come back around in the future to figure out, okay, now what is like, now that we've got this new way going, what does that the next then, like the next level of your business look like after that and, and really work that out and create a plan for them.

  So, uh, it, it wasn't that she had lost her ambition. It wasn't that she had closed up shop and was like, you know what, forget it. I actually, I don't want to have a business. I don't want to be an entrepreneur. I don't. I don't even want to like work or do whatever. I I'm just going to be home with my, with my daughter.

  It's like it, she wasn't saying that she was saying I've been less productive. And therefore, I, I feel like I've lost my ambition. And I was kind of like, Oh this actually I need to talk about this on the podcast because. I think this is a really, really big thing that people struggle with. So actually on our call, I was like, hang on, let me jot a note.

  I'm gonna, uh, recording some podcasts soon. And I want to make sure I don't forget about this because this is as good. So a lot of times I find we view. The time we put into our business, the amount of to-dos, we cross off all of that, as you know, that is making us worthy in some way. If we just do more than we deserve our success more, then we, you know, it proves that we, we want it more, that we are willing to hustle and grind that we are willing to do whatever it takes.

  And. What I realize is that, uh, and I've realized this to myself because this was definitely something that I used to buy into as well. It was like, well, if I have this goal, I better be doing. Everything possible to hit that goal. I, you know, even if it means I'm neglecting my health, even if it means I'm not being as present for my family, even if it means I am putting aside things that I love to do, it will all be worth it when I hit this goal, because I am an ambitious person.

  Cause I've pretty much always viewed myself as an ambitious person. That, uh, if I am not producing, then I'm not living into the label, the persona that I've created for myself. And guess where that ended up with, you know, like guess where that led me to burnout to really bad burnout at the end of 2016.

  And I realized that what I had been doing was. Working in my business, trying to produce, trying to hit goals, to make myself feel worthy of my success of the money I was making of the accomplishments of the awards of the incentives I was earning of all of that. And. It really, really, really sucked. It really sucked.

  Uh, and you would think that I would immediately, for my lesson, I did not. In 2017, I was still, I was still hustling. And finally, uh, towards, you know, like in Q3 of 2017, I was like, enough is enough. This isn't working and I need to change things. And that is when I started the business. I currently have my coaching practice and.

  I've had to spend the last three years unlearning that mindset. And you know, you don't, you don't unlearn something that you have been conditioned your whole life. You don't unlearn that in a week. Right. It's, it's totally impossible. And even if, even for those, you know, if, if somebody were listening to this who was like, Uh, no, I, I just like to listen to you talk, Erica.

  I, I actually don't have any ambitions or goals. I just, I don't know. I like the sound of your voice or something. I mean, bless your heart. But, um, I feel bad if I'm wasting your time. I know, but in, in seriousness, if there was somebody who was like, You know, I, I have friends who, who I love and I adore and, uh, and they, they don't want to be entrepreneurs.

  I, you know, which is totally fine. I don't believe everyone should be. Um, they, they don't work. They are with their kids or they homeschool. And they're awesome. They are amazing moms and amazing humans and amazing friends. But by the sheer fact, That they have grown up in America in, you know, our, like our society that makes productivity a religion, even in their day to day.

  Right. They it's like, okay, well, how much am I accomplishing? What am I getting done? Like how, how on top of things am I like, how, how does my house look? How, how am I doing with like, Meal planning. Uh, how am I doing with homeschooling? Like, how am I doing with all of these things, right. It's constant pressure to produce.

  And I actually had a, sort of an interesting revelation recently, which was around. I was like thinking around, um, you know, how COVID has really impacted like moms, especially with virtual learning. And then I was starting to think about. You know, like when we have like our, our weird policies on like maternity and paternity leave and just like all of that.

  And I was kind of going down this mental rabbit hole and realizing that, Oh, you know, when you, when you are somebody who is pregnant and especially towards the end of your pregnancy, It's very hard to be productive, right. You're really tired. And, uh, you know, you might have some like brain fog, it's very hard to produce, and then you have that baby and your body needs to heal and you're caring for.

  A helpless infant. And again, you can't really be super productive. And so if you look at our values as a nation, we are saying in our lack of care for birthing people and their immediate families, when you are not producing, you are not valuable to our society. And therefore we are not going to support you.

  We are not going to help you. We're not going to give you the time and space you need, or if we do give it to you, we're going to make sure that you aren't compensated during that time to be able to fully support yourself. Right? If you aren't producing you, aren't valuable. And in my mind, uh, like. Rabbit hole.

  My, my mental rabbit hole. I was starting to think this way about like children instead, like American children, because again, American children are not, we're not producing anything for the overall economy while we are kids. Right. So we don't, we don't really value kids either. And you could say like, Oh, we, of course we do.

  But if you look at our actual policies, we don't, right. There's a difference between. Saying and doing right. It's like that, that thing of, you know, like, like actions speak louder than words, right? If you look at our actions in America, we do not value children. We do not, uh, as a society care for all American children.

  And I really think it's because. They don't produce. And so we become obsessed, just aggressively obsessed with what we can get done in a day, what we can produce, how many, two dues we can cross off how far we can push our bodies and our brains and our spirits and all of that in the name of, you know, progress essentially, and what I've had to unlearn.

  And then. You know, replace those with like new, new beliefs and new thoughts and new ways of being is that to be ambitious and to be productive are not the same thing. I still have huge dreams and goals, as I imagine you do. And a lot of the people in your life do whether they are entrepreneurs or not. I believe that generally as humans.

  We want something bigger and something more for ourselves. We want our lives to have meaning and purpose, and we want to feel successful and accomplished in whatever, whatever path that we choose for ourself, but it is not healthy and not really possible to just be constantly doing and producing. We need.

  Rest. And I know, thankfully there seems to be now a trend of, um, people I follow and, and people that I look up to and, you know, and everything who are saying, you know, self care is important and self care. Isn't always, you know, baths and pedicures, even though those are some of my top favorite forms of self-care, but.

  Self care is, you know, napping, it's turning your phone off and reading a book it's going for a walk it's being more present and that rest is essential. So I feel like there is a paradigm shift here, but I really wanted to record this episode to remind you, because again, I imagine you probably view yourself as a fairly ambitious person that.

  Whether or not you hit a goal, does not make you worthy of your dreams and your desires and your ambition. And however many, you know, kajillions of to-dos you can get done in a week. Also. Doesn't make you. More worthy because honestly there have been many times and I can still easily fall into this trap of just wanting to get stuff done.

  But if I get a bird's eye view, I have to look and say, Hmm, is this actually getting me closer to, to my goals though? Or have I just grown up in a culture that is obsessed with productivity? So it feels like it I'll get this, like dopamine hit. If I can check this thing off my to-do list. Even if it really isn't going to matter to my bottom line, even if it doesn't get me closer to my goals, it just feels good because again, I've been conditioned to be obsessed with productivity.

  So I would encourage you if you haven't already. Start to just be mindful. Right. We can't, we can't unlearn something until we're aware, like acutely aware of it. Right. I had to be aware of it and then keep fighting it for a bit before I could be like, you know what, it's time to unlearn. Right. I was, I was mindful of it for about six months before I finally was like, yeah, I need a different way.

  I just can't. I can't keep going like this. So start being mindful of where are you? Becoming obsessed with productivity. And obviously we need to get things done to move our businesses forward. And I have an episode coming up soon with Shontay grant. That is going to be amazing. That is all about how you can be more intentional in your days and get to the other side of busy.

  So I hope you'll tune in to that. But really look at, you know, why am I doing this thing? Is it cause I think I should. Or is it because it will actually get me closer to my goals and just know that no one is looking over your shoulder at your to-do list. And even if they were, who is that person? Right.

  Do they actually get a say in your business or are you the CEO of your business? And I would just think of it like that. And then any of those times that you are maybe getting down on yourself because you're like, I'm really exhausted. And I feel like I need to rest. I feel like I'm not focusing very clearly and you're starting to judge yourself because you're like, I shouldn't rest.

  I need to do these things. Or I feel like I need to do these things. Just be mindful. And then examine it. Do you really need to do them? What's the minimum thing that you could do to keep moving your business forward, right? What is, what is actually that minimum and what is just noise that is brought on by the pressure of maybe other people you see online, maybe you think, Oh, I need to do that challenge too, because I've seen three people this week.

  Talk about doing challenges. Maybe I need to do a challenge. Maybe I need to do a webinar. Maybe I should start posting more on LinkedIn. Maybe I should do this. Maybe I should do that. Just get curious. Should you, should you really, is that gonna really matter? Is that going to get you closer to your goals?

  Is your work going to be when you're just pushing through, even though you're exhausted, chances are probably not. So my hope is that you would go forth and know that you could be ambitious. You could have big dreams and goals. You can want an amazing, magical, wonderful life for yourself, but that doesn't mean that you need to be productive all the time in order to achieve it, or in order to be worthy of it.

  And unlearning, this is an ongoing process. You will not always get it right. But I really believe that the way to have a thriving, sustainable business for the long-term is to have a business that glorifies connection and rest and joy and service and not just productivity for the sake. Oh, checking things off your list.

  So I hope you found this helpful. Uh, if you did feel free to share it with a friend, tag me on Instagram, Eric Tompkins consulting, and as always happy selling.