Ep. 032: Why You Should Toot Your Own Horn (& Not Feel Weird About It)
Contrary to what you've been told, there's nothing wrong with tooting your own horn in business. I'm not talking about bro-marketers who set up photoshoots with rented luxury cars in front of AirBnB beach condos in an attempt to appear more successful.
I mean there's nothing wrong with saying to your ideal clients, "Hey...I'm actually really good at this! And here's how it can benefit you."
It's certainly lovely to get a shout-out from someone online who loves you, or to get an amazing testimonial, but here's why and how you can flaunt your awesomeness without feeling like a "braggy bitch."
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Erika Tebbens: In today's episode of the podcast, I want to talk to you about why I think it's crucial to toot your own horn and not feel bad about it. So a lot of times, especially for women, we are really encouraged to be meek and mild and super humble.
And if somebody pays us a compliment or supposed to minimize it and brush it off and just be like, "Oh no, you know, like I'm not great." Like that so-and-so is better. We just, we tend to really like, be uncomfortable with being like, "Yeah. Oh, cool. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for noticing. That like, yes, I've actually worked really hard at this. So, um, thank you."
We, we tend to have a really, really, really hard time with that. Andnot only is it hard to accept praise from others, but it's almost an unspoken rule that we are not supposed to openly praise ourselves. We're not supposed to toot our own horn ever, because that means that you are a braggy bitch and nobody likes a braggy bitch.
Right? So I think this is really dangerous in regard to people running businesses. Uh, maybe dangerous is too strong of a word. I think it's, um, unfortunate. I think it's, uh, an unnecessary hindrance. Uh, I think it's doing us a disservice when we don't toot our own horn. Because at the end of the day, there will be other people out there who praise us, who give us shout outs, who refer us to other people, who do all of those really lovely, very appreciated things.
But we also need to be okay with being loud and proud about what we are awesome at. Because whatever it is that you do, especially if you provide some sort of service for others, you are really good at that. And yes, there might be other people in your industry who've been doing it longer, who do it a little better, or do it, who do it differently, but you're great in the eyes of the people who are hiring you.
You are phenomenal. To them, you are the greatest social media manager. You are the most phenomenal life coach. You are the greatest branding specialist. And it doesn't matter to them that there are other people out there who maybe have been doing it longer, or could do it better or charge more. They just know that they love you.
So here is why I think that you need to toot your own horn and how you can do it in a way that is not totally repellent and gross to people. Because in the bro marketing world, they are tooting their own horn constantly, and it is very repellent. It's very much this like this: "I am the best. There's never been anyone better. If you don't take advantage of my awesomeness, then you will fail and you suck. And you're a total idiot."
And we don't want to have that in our brand. Right? Like we don't want our brand to come across in that sort of a way. So how do you toot your own horn and not have it sound like that? So, first I want you to actually think about what it is that you are great at? What it is that people love about you? So even if you're like, well, "I'm not, you know, the highest paid social media manager, or I haven't been doing it the longest of anyone", or maybe you only focus on one or two platforms. So you're not the most diverse social media manager. Instead of thinking on all of those things that you aren't. Think about all of those things that you are. And what it is that your clients love about you. What it, what is it that you are like, "You know what people always say when they work with me, they love that-" whatever fill in the blank. Right?
"They love that I'm easy to talk to. They love that I explain what I do, uh, in a way that makes sense. They love that I am a really good listener. They love that they got transformation quickly." And this can go on and on and on. I want you to be really reflective of what it is about you that sets you apart from the competition. Because we all have competition.
That's fine. So for me, when I sit back and think about this, and I will say too, like this also makes me feel uncomfortable. Um, because again, society and conditioning and patriarchy and all of that. So this does take work. It's not like I wake up every day and I'm just like, "I'm the shit. Like, everybody needs to know that I'm the shit. And I'm just going to talk about it. And I feel like super comfortable all the time." Like, no, this, this takes work. So it's good to be reflective. Okay? So think about, instead of minimizing, instead of looking at the lack and, uh, where we kind of don't feel like we measure up. Think about what comes easily for you think about what you enjoy.
Think about positive feedback you've gotten. So when I think about this for myself, I think about the fact that one bit of feedback I get often is that I take these business and marketing concepts and I make them really easy to understand. And I make them feel very doable for people. So that is one thing that I'm great at.
I haven't, this isn't something I've consciously worked on. And also part of why it feels weird to toot your own horn is because usually these things that people love about you or stuff that you're like, well, I don't know if that's just, it's just how I see it. Like, I didn't, I didn't have to spend hours and hours and hours cultivating that part of me.
So it almost feels like. It's too easy. It almost feels like, well, I don't deserve to be praised for that or to say, "Oh, that's what sets sets me apart because it's just part of who I am." Right? So part of who I am, as somebody who loves to teach others, is I have a way of sort of untangling these things that can feel really overwhelming and complicated.
And I can regurgitate them out to another person in a way that makes it feel like, "Oh, I get that. I understand that. I could totally do that. Thank you, Erika." So that is one thing that sets me apart. Another thing is, is that I'm all about having fun. Fun, having fun, uh, you know, kind of having adventures, having meaningful experiences.
All of those things are core values to me. So I really want to make it a priority that when people work with me, that we have a good time together, right? I don't want them looking at their schedule for the week and saying like, "Oh, I have a call with Erika on Thursday. Like, well, I know she's going to help me, but she's also gonna like brow beat me and make me feel bad and make me feel stupid. And she's like a real stick in the mud. And I hate talking to her. Like, no, I want people to be like, "Ooh, I have a call with Erika this Thursday. Oh, this is going to be great. Like, I always feel so much better after I talk to her. You know, it's, it's always so nice to like, uh, catch up with her and give her the updates on what I'm doing in my business. And, uh, I always walk away feeling like I have a bunch of clarity and confidence and I'm ready to do whatever it is that we talked about on the call."
Like all of those things are really important to me and I like to infuse my work with all of that. So those are some things that set me apart. And also just the way that I work with people. You know, like just, you probably have offerings that are slightly different in some way than other people in your industry.
And there will be people who resonate with that offering, right? So there are huge name people who do what I do. So there's like Marie Forleo, who's amazing. She started B-School. She just came out with a book. She's super smart. She's great at business. She's very successful. I'm pretty sure she does not do one-on-one coaching.
Right? Like, and even if she did, it's probably tens of thousands of dollars too, if you want to do that with her. So I am more accessible for a lot of people. So that is also something that is, uh, you know, something that resonates with people who are attracted to me. And there might be a whole host of other things.
Um, some other things that I am like, "Oh, I, you know, these are my strengths. Uh, these are ways that I can toot my horn and feel comfortable and honest about it." It's just my background in business. So, you know, I've worked in multi-million dollar corporate retail. I've worked in six-figure small business.
I've been in direct sales and now I've been in this online sphere. So I have a very diverse sales and business background, and I love that. I love that about myself. That is something I can toot my own horn about because it's something that is very different from a lot of my competition. So first to toot your own horn, you have to sit back and be reflective and really think about in a non-negative way, what makes you different from other people? So instead of focusing on what makes you lacking compared to your competition, focus on what are your strengths compared to your competition? What do people love about working with you? And nobody else, you know, if this is uncomfortable at first, like you can keep it private.
You can write it out all out on your own. You can put it in the notes on your phone. You can put it somewhere where, uh, you know, other people won't see it. But really like write a list of all of the stuff where you're like, "Yeah. You know, that is something I feel really proud about with myself and my work."
And then I want you to think about how you can organically infuse that into the content that you're putting out in the world. Now, this does not mean that every single time you post something, you're tooting your own horn. That is the very bro market-y type thing, right? This doesn't mean that you are using it to weaponize, um, why somebody should hire you versus the competition in a really negative and mean way.
Meaning like you're, you're not openly attacking your competition. We don't want that. Um, and we don't want to be like beating people over the head with it. But this is where you can infuse where applicable, what actually sets you apart? And so you could do this in a few ways. So social proof is a really great way because social proof is actual words said by other people about you. This could be testimonials.
This could be screenshots of comments that people have sent you. Um, DMS, uh, like comments on your, in your Facebook or your Instagram or anything like that. These are other people's words. You can put these out into the world. You can take these, put them on your website, put them on our sales pages, put them on your social media because this is showing the world, "Hey, here here's what other people who might be in the same position as you, this is their honest opinion of working with me." And then you can also say, so like, let's say if I'm talking about something, I'm doing a Instagram posts, whatever. And I'm talking about, um, I did this over the summer. I gave some tips for people who sell face-to-face. And in that I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but I could mention, you know, that I'm not just like pulling these tips out of nowhere.
These are things based on the fact that I have done face to face product selling in these environments that are fast paced, that are very high volume that are, uh, like a high level of sales, like overall, like in, you know, multi-millions of dollars per year. Or I worked for a farm where we did a half a million a year in revenue, and that's all face-to-face product selling.
So that's a way that you can toot your own horn without being over the top. Right? You can say, "Hey, I have these tips on how to, uh, you know, get better Instagram engagement." So again, let's say you're a social media manager. "Here's some tips on how to get better Instagram engagement." Then you could say something like, "I just did this for a client and they got 400% more engagement in the last 30 days compared to the previous 30 days."
So right there, you are tooting your own horn without being a gigantic asshole about it. What you are getting across to people is, "I'm going to give you some value. I'm going to give you some tips. I'm going to give you some insight into working with me. And I'm also going to show you some actual results that somebody who's paying me got so that you can build that level of trust with me that you know, that we're you to hire me in the future, I am somebody. That is trustworthy to spend money with. You are not going to waste your investment because I know what the hell I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about."
So again, you know, and obviously toot your own horn on things that you really do, you don't know about and feel good about and confident about. Like, I'm not going to say I'm not going to falsely toot my own horn about it things that I've only done once. Right? That's super out of integrity. And I'm all about running a business with integrity. But it's okay to let people know what you are great at so that they can get that level of comfort and understanding. Because on the flip side, think about when you go to hire somebody. Do you want to hire the person, like you probably don't want to hire the person that's the super bro marketer dude, who is making you feel all guilty if you don't hire him, that's making you feel like a total idiot, that is telling you he's, you know, God's gift to the online business world. Like you don't want that. But you also don't want to hire the straight up newb probably, that you don't know if they have proven results or you don't know if they just, if there's somebody who just woke up one day and was like, "Oh, I don't know. I think I'm just gonna be a, you know, a business coach now. I don't really have any experience running business, but like, It looks fun. It seems fun. I can just work on my laptop from anywhere. So like, yeah, hire me and I'll be your business coach. It's going to be totally legit." Right? Like we don't want that.
We want to hire the person that goes "Yeah. I, um, I'm actually pretty good at what I do. I love doing it. Um, here's a little bit of my history with it. Here are some results that people have gotten here are, uh, people's feedback in their own words about working with me. And, uh, yeah, so I feel pretty confident that when you give me your money, I'm going to deliver on what you hope to get from working with me."
Right? We want that person that is confident. That's like, "Yeah, I frickin know what I'm talking about. Like, your, your money is safe with me." We want that. We don't want the wishy-washy person. That's like, "Well, I don't know. Like I could maybe help you on Instagram, like a little bit. And I mean, I like being on Instagram."
Like we, we don't want that person. We want that person that's okay too, in their own horn a little bit. So those are my, those are my two tips from you. Be like, self-reflective. Be really honest with yourself. It might feel really uncomfortable at first. Um, because we are taught that, uh, this is not okay to toot your own horn. But really, um, reflect if you need to reach back out to clients or to people who know you well, to get some feedback, go ahead and do that.
That's okay. I'm giving you permission. And then pepper that around in places don't be, don't beat people over the head with it. Don't be obnoxious. Don't you know, not that you would, I know nobody who listens to this podcast would. But instead just sprinkle it around. It's kind of like salt, right? You don't, too much salt is disgusting. You don't want to eat food that has too much salt. But a little salt sprinkled here and there enhances the flavor. So that is how you're going to do it. Because in doing that, it's going to give potential new clients, the confidence to invest in you because they will know that you are confident in yourself and your abilities.
So, if you have any takeaways, any ahas, any anything, I would love to hear them be sure to find me on Instagram @erikatebbensconsulting. I love to say hi to people over there. So you can always screenshot as you're listening to this and post it in your stories and tag me or just, you know, tag me over there, find me comment on any of my posts or my stories, because I love to hear from my listeners. So go out there, to your own horn, and as always, happy selling.
