Ep. 007: 5 Selling DON'Ts
In Episode 005 I shared the Art of Selling, but in this episode I want to cover 5 mistakes I see some people making when it comes to selling.
These are really common, and unfortunately some people teach them as good advice, but I’m going to advise against them. They aren’t super effective anyway, so even if you don’t feel uncomfortable with them, it’s not really worth your time or energy.
If you want to learn a better, sleaze-free way, you can download my No-Sleaze Sales Method for free at the link below.
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Erika Tebbens: Hello and welcome back to the Sell It! Sister podcast. Today, we are going to chat how not to sell. So I know a couple of episodes ago, we talked all about the art of selling and sales conversations, but I wanted to take.
A little bit of time and go over some mistakes that I see people making and, um, not call them out to make anyone feel bad, but because I just want people to know that you don't have to do these things. And if somebody has led you to believe that you do or whatever, I want to make sure that you can stop doing them or avoid doing them because they are really not necessary and they can actually hurt your business instead of helping it.
So I have about five things here that I have written down that I want to talk about today and share with you. And as always, uh, just know, you know, if you need more help, you want more tips. You want more goodies from me in between podcast episodes, be sure to join my Facebook community group, just type in sellitsisterhood.com and that'll take you right there and you can, um, answer the three quick questions and get yourself into the group because I'm usually in there almost every single day.
Um, and it's a great way to interact and chat with me and get additional help. So without further ado, let's talk ways not to sell. So one of the most common things that I feel like we've all had experience with is getting that random Facebook message or Instagram DM that is just pitching you with no basis of any kind of a relationship either at all.
Like it's just a total cold pitch; somebody you have zero clue who they are. This happens to me all the time on Instagram and it makes me bananas, um, but it can also happen a lot, especially on Facebook with people who you are connected to. Maybe you went to high school together, you haven't really chatted with them in years, possibly even decades.
And then just out of the blue, one day, they send you a message telling you about their product or their opportunity. And it instantly is like, hi, what. What is up? What are you doing? Like, you know, haven't talked to you in forever. Why do you think I'm just suddenly going to be on board with whatever you are selling?
Right. So I feel like this is the most common and really one of the worst offenders and one thing that I like to think about in this is that regular retailers don't do this. So we shouldn't either. So yes, retailers that you've opted into get emails from them. Yes. They send you information about promos and things like that.
Yes, they do paid advertising all of that, but like target, doesn't just have like one of their cashiers send you a random message, like personal message to say like, Oh, Hey, you know, why don't you come on in and shop such and such sale? Like, it's just, it's weird. And, uh, it doesn't really work at all. So just don't do it, especially if you think that you're supposed to, or somebody is telling you that you need to, uh, it's just.
It's not going to be worth your, your time and your energy. I, I promise. So just do not do it. Uh, also one that I've been noticing happens more, uh, in the last few years are. You know, there are a lot of Facebook groups. Like I mentioned my own, I, uh, I put time and energy and effort into my own Facebook group.
And I know a lot of other people do as well. And I've had previous, um, closed Facebook groups for my other businesses too. And there are some groups out there, especially for entrepreneurs that will allow you to post and that is completely fine. And especially if they're telling you, you can, that is awesome.
I am always, always, always happy when somebody in my group posts, um, especially if they're like. Hey, you know, what is your opinion on this? What's your take on this? What's your suggestion for this? Anything like that? Like to get feedback or if they want to celebrate a win something they're proud of. Like, I love that.
I am so here for that. But what I see, and if you are in, uh, entrepreneurial Facebook groups as well, you might know what I'm talking about. These are these like very long form posts that are like veiled, salesy kind of posts. So it's usually like a picture of the person. Uh, and then it's, it's this whole like, story that just kind of starts randomly.
And then, uh, usually it ends with like some call to action. That's like, you know, type hell yes. If you agree or whatever. Um, and it's very strange because again, so relating things back to the real world, just like in my first example about like siting into people's DMS and cold pitching. When you think of it in terms of the real world.
Uh, Facebook group, um, line is a lot like an in-person, uh, networking space or at least they can be. So if you were at a networking event and you're there, you got your glass of wine and you're chatting with some other folks and then all of a sudden, somebody just walks right up to your little group and just starts into some weird story that has nothing to do with what you're talking about. That just kind of starts totally out of the blue.
It's like not tethered to anything in the moment you would be like, I'm sorry, Susan. Like, what are you, what are you doing? Like, or you'd be like, I I'm sorry. I don't no you like, who are you? Why are you just suddenly giving us this like weird play-by-play of something that happened to you? Like we were over here talking about like good restaurants to eat at in town. And then suddenly you're like off on this tangent with this very like, self-absorbed weird story. Like what, what is this? Like, we would.
We would be totally weirded out by it. Like we'd probably want to roll our eyes. We probably wouldn't want to engage much further with this person. Um, and again, it's not to say, like, it's not to say, Oh, you know, don't post or you can't post anything inspiring or anything like that. But, um, even if you're not familiar with this and you're in like larger entrepreneurial groups, pay attention and see if you now notice what I'm talking about, because these are like, they're literally posts that are apropos of nothing else.
And clearly what it is is it's like a way for that person to kind of fish and like put themselves out there so that you notice them and then like will flock to them, which as somebody who runs a Facebook group, like I am all for, um, you know, like community over competition. And I am very much like an abundant mindset versus lack mindset person.
And, and I, I don't feel like threatened by, uh, you know, the, the competition. Like, there are a lot of people who do something similar to what I do; that's not it at all. It's that, it seems very weird to me that, uh, like, and, and I would never do this. Like, I don't want to take advantage of a group that somebody else has taken the time and the energy to curate and to grow and to make available for people.
Like, I don't want to take advantage of that platform that they have made for themselves in their own business. I don't want to use that as a way to subtly like pitch myself and my services. Now on the flip side, if I'm in a group and then somebody knows them in there and they have a question about something and they tag me because they know I might have an answer now that's different.
Like I'm happy to hop on and help same thing in my own group. You know, if somebody is saying like, I don't know, I'm I'm like, it's so hard for me to get my work done because I have, you know, an 18 month old and they're not napping anymore. Like, does anyone have any suggestions of what has worked now? One of my previous clients is a sleep coach for families.
So I have no problem like I myself would be like, Oh, you have to talk to so-and-so because she can absolutely help you. And if other people want to chime in and say, Oh my gosh, like. Actually I do sleep coaching or, um, in my, you know, my business, like I help, uh, parents with children who are, you know, having issues or sleeping or behavioral or anything like that.
I have no problem with people promoting themselves and their expertise in that way, but it just feels very weird and sleazy to me to take advantage of something that another, uh, entrepreneur has created as a way to advertise yourself and your own business, especially when it's like in this weird, like, Oh no, like technically I'm not selling, so you can't, you can't be mad at me and like pull my posts down because I'm not breaking any of the rules.
I'm not actually selling, but it's like, what you, you kind of are though. Like you, even if it's subtle, like people aren't stupid, like you are. So that's number two. Um, number three is when you are having a conversation with somebody. So whether this is, you know, you're face-to-face or you are messaging back and forth, or maybe you're on zoom doing like a discovery call, something like that, or on the phone, um, don't make it all about you because it's actually not about you.
It's about them. So, It's totally okay to give people, um, you know, social proof about yourself. You can, you know, talk about whatever your expertise is. Um, any of those things to let people know, you know, who you are, who you serve, how you help them, how you've helped other people like them. But at the end of the day, they don't care about what is in it for you.
They care about what is in it for them. So spend more time focused on how your product or service is going to benefit them even if you sell quirky coffee mugs, let's say so again, and this can also apply. I know I said, you know, in terms of conversations, but this can also apply in your marketing. So if you are making posts for social media, uh, or sales copy or anything like that, really focus on what the benefit is to that other person when they choose to do business with you.
So let's just even take the example of the quirky coffee mugs. So I know it can feel like, okay, well, like what the heck is the benefit to somebody of that? Like, it's, it's a coffee mug, but somebody might want to start their day with a little bit of humor. Maybe they have a bunch of kids and they're running a business from home, uh, or, you know, They work outside of the home and their life is just chaotic.
And for them having that funny coffee mug for their 15 minutes of solitude in the morning is a great way for them to start the day that is benefit unto itself. And also don't assume someone else's problem. So, this is very, very prominent in, uh, fields where people are selling like wellness products, skincare, weight loss, um, anything like that.
This kind of goes back to my first point of the DMS. So not everyone who is overweight is looking to lose weight not everyone with wrinkles field feels bad about them, so on and so forth. So. When people reach out with, uh, you know, giving their unsolicited opinion in an effort to try to sell something that feels really, really, really gross.
And I have had people share their experiences with me. I've had my experiences myself. Again, this is often in the world of MLM. So if your business is not of that world, uh, it might not apply. To you, but I know sometimes even when you have a business that you've created on your own, because we see a lot of people in MLM, direct sales network marketing.
Those fields selling, we a lot of times think, well, this is just how selling has to be. So I suppose that because I'm a fitness coach, that this is how I need to sell my services is by like approaching people who don't appear to be fit and then seeing if they're interested. But, uh, that is just not good on many levels.
I mean, you can all imagine how shitty it would feel to be at the receiving end of a DM on somebody saying, uh, you know, Hey, you've looked like you've gained some weight and, uh, bikini season is right around the corner. Like, do you want to talk about the services that I can provide? Like, no, that's, that's not awesome.
Um, so just, you know, make sure like focus on the benefits to the other person, but don't make assumptions that just because they are some sort of way that they are automatically going to be needing or wanting what you have a number four, allow people to decline. So I'm going to do, um, a future episode on overcoming objections and dealing with objections.
But it's important to know that it's okay to check and see if the person feels unclear or has more questions. Sometimes people are declining or they're wishy-washy because they. Maybe feel like they don't have all of the information to make a, uh, you know, an impassioned yes, uh, answer in that moment. So maybe there's something else that they are unsure of, that you can clarify for them before they can make a definitive decision one way or the other.
But it's also totally okay to just let people say no or to say not now. So sometimes people just, you know, especially if it's for a larger amount now of money that they need to invest in what it is. They might need a moment to sleep on that decision. They might need to think about it for 24 hours. They might need to, uh, you don't check in, like, let's say they're hiring a coach for instance.
They might want to interview several different people before they decide who they feel comfortable working with. And that is okay. People deserve to be able to do that. Uh, I will say, you know, if you've checked in with them and they. You know, they've said that they've had all their questions answered.
They're still not sure they want to think about it. Whatever the case may be, as long as it's not a flat out no, like, uh, no, I'm totally not interested. Like no word on here. Kind of a thing you can always see if it's okay if you follow up with them at a future point. So that might be, you know, they say they want to think about it or they need to sleep on it.
You can always say like, okay, can I contact you, uh, you know, in two days at this time or whatever, um, or can I follow up with you in a month or something like that, but, uh, give people the dignity of just being able to say no and not feel like you are going to make them feel guilty for saying no, or keep badgering them or anything like that.
That's not cool. And it's gonna leave a bad taste for those people. And I will say that a lot of times, like it might take somebody months of following along with you before they actually feel comfortable being ready to buy from you. I know that my first mentor, when I started this business, I was actually.
Following along with her for probably a couple of years, uh, before I actually hired her and that's okay. That's perfectly. Okay. So just because somebody says, not now, like right now, it doesn't mean not ever, but if you make them feel bad about saying not now, then they will not ever want to come do business with you.
And lastly, don't ever shame anyone. So this kind of goes hand in hand with allowing people to decline. Um, but we, at the end of the day, we all get to make decisions about what we want to spend our money on. And when, even if you are a good Jillian error, you are allowed to say, Oh, this thing, this XYZ. Yeah.
I actually don't want to spend my money on that. Or, you know, it might be something that is 20, $30 and you might be thinking, well, it's only 20, $30. You're a billionaire. Like, I can't believe you're not going to buy this. And I know this is like a little bit of an exaggeration because we tend to not hang out with a lot of billionaires, but even if it's just somebody in your life, who's like, you feel it was very like, well to do.
It might be more than they are comfortable spending on that particular item. They might not be impressed with that item. They might not feel like they need that item. They might want to purchase that item at a later date, but not right now. It's never okay to shame someone for not spending money with you.
It's like, honestly, it's just, it's flat out gross. It's like the it's the worst offender, like as, as a sleazy, as it feels to have Karen from high school, we'll slide into your DMS after 15 years and pitch you on her weight-loss shakes or whatever ever. Uh, shaming is definitely the pinnacle of the worst sales, like selling and sales behaviors.
So. Uh, like I said already with my, my first mentor, like there have been. Lots of things that I've invested in right away, like right off the bat and other things where it just took me a longer time to decide. So there have also been other services and people in my business that I have hired for different things, whether it's long-term projects or short-term things.
And there have been others where we did a discovery call, you know, everything seemed amazing. I had nothing against them and what they were offering. I just was not ready right at that moment to be willing to invest in that service or that product or whatever it is and going forward. It's something that I still might invest in down the road.
Even if their prices went up, I might, you know, find a point where I'm like, Oh, okay now is the perfect time to hire this person for this project. Uh, but if I was to feel shamed, In not making that investment, then why, why would I ever go back to that person? Like there's, you know, shaming is not a great way to start a relationship or maintain a relationship.
And, you know, I'm a big advocate of relational selling. So some of the ways this comes up is, you know, people, uh, being made to feel like, well, if you don't invest in this, now you're going to fail. Or you obviously don't care about success or your business or anything like that. I know we've even if somebody hasn't said something to us directly, we've all seen like fear and shame based marketing and it just doesn't feel good.
So just because you see other people do it. Please don't feel like you need to do it as well for it to pay off for you and your own business. So those are the five things. If you are listening to this and you are thinking of other ways that you have been sold to that just felt horrible. Or if any of these really speaks to you because you've had them happen to you, then I would love it.
If you took a screenshot of this, if you posted it in your stories or on social media and tagged me, I'm @erikatebbensconsulting on, uh, on Instagram and tag me and just tell me your story or send me a DM because I would love to hear about it. I'm not saying to call anyone out publicly, you know, put anyone on blast on your own social media, but just to let people know, you know, that these are ways that are not, that they don't feel good.
They don't inspire you to want to spend money. And then if you want to, cause I'm all about giving positive shout outs to people. If there is a brand or a person that you love to spend money with because they make you feel good every time by all means, give them a shout out on social as well. So, all right.
I hope that you got a bunch of value from that. I hope that was super helpful. Um, Let me know, you know, if you have any questions or you need any extra help, I'm going to be putting some info in the show notes, uh, of, you know, all the places you can find me and connect with me and learn more about ways to sell and not to sell and as always happy selling.
