Ep. 006: Why Mindset Matters
We get really hung up on strategy and systems but none of it really matters if our mindset is garbage.
Because when you struggle with mindset, it spills over into every part of your business. It can lead to self-sabotage and burnout, but there are several things you can do to boost your mindset to benefit your business.
***If you are experiencing any mental health concerns, please seek the help of a licensed professional. There's no shame in getting help!***
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Erika Tebbens: Hey, welcome back. I am so excited to talk about one of my absolute favorite things to talk about in the whole wide world today. And that is mindset.
And I love talking about it so much because I really feel like mindset is about 80% of everything in our lives, both personal and in business. And truly, I feel like if your mindset is shitty, your business will be shitty too. And we don't want that. So I wanted to take a little bit of time today, and talk about recognizing on helpful mindsets, where they originate, how to deal with them, and then just some good practices to really work, be able to work consistently on maintaining and improving your mindset.
Because at the end of the day, this is something that we all need help with. So, first up, it's important to know, I firmly believe that if you think, if you feel like you are not worth it, like whatever you are charging for what you have for what you're offering, whatever offerings you're putting out in the world, if you feel like you aren't worth what you're asking for, your clients are not going to feel that either.
It's even, even though it's unspoken, it will, it will resonate with them and they won't find value in what you're offering either. Same thing if you feel like intrinsically you don't deserve success, you either won't get it or you'll get it. And then you're going to self-sabotage so that you can prove yourself, right.
Even if you don't want to be right about the fact that you don't deserve success. And if you are constantly grumbling, complaining, feeling disappointed, all of those things, you are just going to keep getting more of the same, which sucks. I mean, we all know that person who is just complaining all the time and then it seems like nothing else in their life ever goes right.
And whether that's really the case or just what they perceive, either way, it doesn't matter because that is what they perceive. So this is not a, you know, I'm not going to be telling you to be pie in the sky and like Pollyanna and head in the clouds, but there are some things that are really essential to understand and recognize about mindset that is going to make a huge, huge difference in your business, especially in the amount of money that you make and the reach that you have with your business.
So, one thing about mindset though, is that it needs to be worked on regularly. Just like we do certain things regularly to maintain physical health. We have to do certain things regularly to maintain our mental health. But it's important to do it because much like if you are in good physical health, you have physical endurance. If you have good mental health, you'll have good mental endurance. Which is important in running a business because there will always be peaks and valleys, and we have to be able to deal with that and cope with that effectively.
So there's a few things you can do to keep your mindset in check and keep it, uh, you know, positive most of the time working towards a, more of a growth mindset and abundance mindset, rather than a lack mindset and just overall feeling good about your work and what you do, uh, and you know, making money and, and empowering people and impacting them with your business.
So to take a step back for just a second, I like to view, like when we think of icky feelings that come up for us, that kind of hinder our positive mindset, I actually like to view them as coming from two different places.
So there are the feelings that, uh, come about from like your gut and then the ones from your head. So for me, the gut ones, that is my intuition. That is my, my deep soul telling me something is not right and you need to pay attention. And we get really used to seeing what everyone else is doing and then feeling like, "Well, I need to do that too, to be successful."
So we can be really fantastic as entrepreneurs of starting a program or a project that we think we should be doing, but it is just not aligned with who we are, how we want to run our business. It's draining our energy instead of giving us energy. And this doesn't make us bad people. I feel like as entrepreneurs, we all do this at one point or another. You think that you're, you know, you're supposed to be, I don't know, running a membership, you know, a monthly membership site or something like that.
And then you work really hard and you build it up and you enroll people and you're doing it. You're chugging along and six months in you're like, "Ah, this is not working for me." But you think, "Well, this is going to be a catastrophe. If I change it or I close it or, uh, you know, do something else with it."
But the reality is, is that your subconscious knows that something isn't right. And so that's why it's giving you that resistance. And so that is where a person like me were since I'm objective to your business, I can actually look at it from the outside and have a conversation with you and figure out, "Is this something, do we need to change it? Do we need to remove it? Do we need to, you know, do something entirely different with it? Like, what are we going to do now?" So that you can actually keep going and having success in your business and making the money you want, but that you don't end up burning out because you just keep running that membership program that is absolutely draining to you. Right?
Cause that that is not sustainable, and I'm all about helping people expand their businesses in a sustainable way and not just telling you to just, you know, keep hustling and, and push ahead. Like that's, it's never going to serve you well.
And then the other one is where I view the icky feelings originate, is in my brain. It's that like monkey mind that ego mind, uh, the mean girl. And that is the one that is really tricky because it's always there. That's like, that's the kicker. That one is really never going to go away. I have some tools I'm going to help you to, to deal with it, but it's just always there. And one thing that helps me, not kind of be so overwhelmed by that voice is recognizing why it exists.
So it's very much like the cave woman part of my brain. It's because our brains have not evolved quite as quickly as the rest of our world. And so in our minds, our brain is just trying to keep us safe. It's trying to make sure that we don't wander away from our safe, protective community, out into the wilderness, where all the big, scary creatures that are out there can get us and they can hurt us.
So when we think, "Oh, I'm gonna, I'm going to start this business. So I'm gonna, uh, try to book that speaking gig, or I'm going to try to build this course." Like anytime we're doing something that is outside of what is normal for society, our ego, our cave woman, brain is like, Don't do that. That's different. And different puts you at risk, puts you in danger."
So when I think about it that way, I'm like, "Oh, well, she's just, she's trying to keep me safe. Like she doesn't know any better. She doesn't know that if I make a course and you know, people don't love it and buy it. Like I'm not going to die. It's just, I mean, it's going to be a bummer. It might be some lost time and some lost revenue, but I'm not going to die. It's not a lion killing me in the desert."
It's a, it's, it's something not nearly as bad so that when I view her as just keeping me safe, then it feels less threatening. And I also kind of like to give that mean girl persona or that, that mean girl, voice a persona. So, uh, for me, when I think of mean girl, I think like the, the super rude, uh, like ultra popular girl from high school who is just a total snob and just mean, and I don't like her at all. And I, when I think about the, the ego voice, that mean girl voice in that way, and I pair it with like, where it's actually coming from, that, that like very primal cave woman, part of my brain, I actually feel kind of bad for her.
So even though she's mean, and even though she's telling me, like, I'm so stupid and I shouldn't do it and I shouldn't try and I shouldn't go outside of my comfort zone and I'm never going to amount to anything and you know, everyone's going to make fun of me and laugh at me. I'm kind of like, "Okay, well, yeah, but I mean, you're just like a really bitter person, like, you're just like, what, or why don't you just mind your business? Like honestly, who cares? Just don't you have something better to do?"
Like when I think of it that way also it makes it sting, uh, a lot less, I will say. I also try to figure out if something triggered it. Like, was I thinking of something beforehand that made that voice get really loud or was I about to do something that made that voice get really loud?
And sometimes if I can go back to like the route, that the way, way back, very underlying thing, it will actually help me to kind of recognize where it's it was coming from and kind of clear it out or work through it. Sometimes we have these things that are just rooted in our past or in a story that we keep telling ourselves or a limiting belief or a really hard moment from growing up.
And that doesn't mean that they are reality now. So like maybe you were, I don't know, onstage doing something and you forgot your lines or you did something really embarrassing. And now you want to do speaking engagements for your business to grow your fields, your visibility, or do workshops. And your brain is like, "It's just gonna, it's all going to happen again. You're just going to be a huge disappointment and embarrass yourself."
Like you can pause and be like, "No, that happened when I was seven. And now I'm 37 and I'm pretty sure it won't happen again. Thank you for looking out for me, but I've got this. It's all good."
And I also, like I mentioned already, It helps to know that that voice is just always going to be there. So if I don't get so hung up on the fact that like, "I'm so stupid, why can't I get rid of the voice."
If I just embrace the fact that it will always be there and I can just quiet it or thank it for its concern and tell it to have a nice day, then that is a lot better than beating myself up over the fact that it's still there because it will just always be there. It's just how we, it's, how we are.
So here are a few other tools that I like to use. Uh, pretty much almost on the daily. I don't do all of these things daily, but a lot of them, and these are things that truly have made such a difference for me, uh, in terms of cultivating a positive mindset, a vast majority of the time.
So usually Monday through Friday, I make some time in the morning to, uh, do a quick meditation. And then I journal that just kind of helps me get some, some thoughts and feelings out and just really center myself. I am very protective of my own boundaries and my own energy levels. So I set up my work week flow to really honor my natural kind of energy rhythms and the amount that I want to work and the amount that I want to spend with my family and doing other things that I find really enjoyable and energy giving.
And I also make sure I rest. It's really important to rest. I know I'm not the first person to ever tell you this. I know that is often easier said than done. But honestly, at the very least you should have one day a week where you literally do nothing in your business, just rest and get caught up and just reboot your whole system.
Um, I also think it's important to put good stuff into your brain. So these could be things like books, audio books, podcasts, and it doesn't always have to be business related either. So it, you know, it could be personal growth. It could even just be fiction. Like if you have a movie or TV show or an math or that you really love that just helps to kind of like, let that creative part of your brain go or just let your brain take a rest, uh, or feels very inspiring, make that a regular part of your practice. Even if you read for 10 minutes a day or you listen to an audio book while you're, you know, doing something else around the house, definitely make sure to plan that in and do it.
I am also incredibly intentional about who I surround myself with. I think it is crucial to surround yourself with other positive minded people, especially in the world of business. Part of why I started my success squad mastermind program is because far too often, women in business, they don't have a lot of people who really get what they are going through, and they might have supportive people in their life, but they really need that comradery of other people who will lift them up and support them and, uh, you know, make them not feel crazy for wanting to follow their dreams.
And I really think even if you just have one rock solid, amazing like business bestie that you can lean on and that you can bounce ideas off of, and, you know, share wins and frustrations with, that is gonna make a lot of difference because if you just vent everything to somebody who already has a bad mindset, they are just going to make you feel worse.
They're going to say, "I told you show, so you shouldn't have even started that business, or you should just give up it's, you know, you're working too much." Whatever. You don't need that in your life. You need people who are going to lift you up and be awesome and supportive. And if you don't have it, of course, you can always chat with me about the Success Squad.
Because I just, I love that community there. And last is therapy. There are a lot of options now that work for you know, people in all areas, in all, um, stages of their life, uh, in all backgrounds, there are so many different options now with therapy. And I know it means paying the money and taking the time.
Um, not all therapy has to be done every single week and not everyone needs therapy, but also there really should not be any shame or stigma around it either. I truly believe that it is just so helpful to have a completely objective third party in your life to bounce ideas off of. And in that, you know, in that same vein also like really amazing life coaches and stuff out there too.
And you know, I, a lot of the work I do with my clients centers around mindset, even though I'm not specifically a mindset coach. So a lot of times in the business realm, uh, business coaches will help in some way, at least with a lot of mindset work too.
So those are my tips for you. Uh, again, Sometimes our negative feelings, they're coming from different parts of us. And it's important to listen to that and honor it and realize where it's coming from and why, and then to have tools in your toolbox to deal with it.
And so as always, I hope that that was, uh, helpful for you. And if you have any questions, please let me know. If you are enjoying the podcast, it really helps other people find it. If you quickly hop over and rate and review it. And please, you know, screenshot this. If you're listening on your phone screenshot, upload it to your Instastories, tag me at @erikatebbensconsulting, cause I love to see who is listening and I appreciate you so so much. If there's ever a topic you want to hear, just reach out.
And I am happy to see if I can cover it in a future episode. And yeah, be sure to connect with me all the places that we can connect and as always, happy selling.
