Ep. 148: What to do When Things Feel Hard
I know it seems like when the money is coming in consistently that everything will be wonderful and that the money will smooth everything else over.
That’s rarely the case.
Because as your business grows financially, usually your responsibilities do too.
You may have team you pay, larger investments you’ve made, household bills you’re responsible for, etc. These things are great but can come with their own frustrations.
Not to mention, the world of business is always changing, and we are always changing too.
You might be bored with what you’re offering and ready to pivot, or ready for a huge price increase and terrified about it.
There will always be hard moments but they don’t have to stop our longterm growth.
Links: Plan for Profit Training
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And this week's episode of sell it. Sister, I want to talk about what to do when things feel hard, because if you are a human living on planet earth right now, and not some robot listening to this. Then I'm guessing that in some form or fashion things feel a little hard and that could be not just in your business could be in your personal life.
Like could be a lot of things could be in your family, could be with your friends, but there is heavy stuff. Going on in the world stuff that's really stressful. That impacts different people in different ways. Um, and it's all coming on the heels of over two years since the start of COVID and the shutdowns and stuff associated with.
And so depending on, you know, your, your intersections, your identities, where you you're located in the world, where your loved ones are located, um, your, you know, uh, family of origin, your history, like all of that, there are a lot of things going on right now that can make getting through the day-to-day just of life, not even of this.
Really freaking hard and really exhausting and really stressful. Uh, and then you add business on top of it, which is an incredibly stressful, uh, thing. It can be. Um, you know, when, when you are sort of controlling the money that you make and you're not necessarily getting just like a regular paycheck, um, that can be, that can be really stressful.
When you're doing really well and something that came up recently and instead of rebellious success was, uh, and the, also with one of my, um, clients, Stephanie, who was also on the podcast talking about money baggage, she and I did it and it live, we were kind of talking about, we're talking about like money stuff and how there's sort of this idea that like, oh, you get to a certain revenue level and then like everything.
Is more or less great, right? Like you're just like, woo. Like the money's flowing and, and things are awesome. Uh, but the reality is, is that every level just comes with new challenges, right. Because yes, now you might be making great money, but if you've brought on team, And then revenue starting to dip for a variety of reasons.
You're like, oh my God, I have people who are relying on me. You know, like I, this has to work and it can become really stressful. And that's just like one, one small example. So some of the things I wanted to mention. That these are not just like my things. These are things that are either very recently or in the recent ish past some things that are hard that have come up, either for myself, for friends of mine, for clients of mine that are really difficult, really challenging, and also not totally unique.
Right. They're just things that sort of come with the territory of. Business. Um, and the reason I'm sharing these and the reason I'm sharing this whole episode, and it is really to try to like normalize these things. Right. Because the way I see it, one, one thing that has really helped me in business is when I know that like a hard thing is normal is common, uh, is just part of the territory of business.
I can navigate it better. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it doesn't mean I wish it weren't the case, but I can navigate it in the sense of, oh, I am not broken this isn't unique to me. I am not doomed. I didn't screw something up horribly. It's this isn't my, my destiny, right? This is just something that happens.
And the more and more business owners, I know, especially ones who, you know, even make more money than I do, or have larger teams than I do, or who have been doing it longer, you know, or whatever the case, when I know what is really going on for them, I'm like, oh, Okay. Yeah. Again, this is normal. This, this doesn't mean something is wrong.
It means that this is some, this is a common obstacle. And because I know it's common, it means that other people have been able to navigate through it. And therefore I trust that I also will be able to navigate through it. Right. That's sort of like the thought process. I. I have in my, in my mind, because I think a lot of times, you know, when we just see one side of somebody's business, we're like, well, why is it so hard for me?
Like, why am I like they have like a million dollar business or, you know, a half million dollar business or a quarter of a million dollar business or whatever. And they're out here, like seemingly living the Treme and like, why is it so hard for me? Or like, why am I at this like a really good revenue amount to a revenue amount that I feel really good as obviously relative, but an, an amount that like, it's my goal and I've hit it where I've surpassed it.
But something is still something still doesn't feel right. When I know that, like, that other person that I'm looking up to when they have their own hard things, I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. All right. So I got it. This is just something that I have to. I can either choose to embrace that this is the reality, or I can say like, well, that's going to be a deal breaker for me.
And I am just going to close at my business and go do something else. Right. I am always at choice, but if I am making a choice, I want it to be an informed choice. And I want to share all of this with you. So you can feel empowered to make more informed choices yourself. And to also not feel like, oh my God, why is that everyone else is, has figured it out.
And I haven't, and there must be something wrong with me. And I'm destined to never be able to like hit my goals or whatever, not true whatsoever. So some of the examples I want to share things recently or from. The not so distant past of myself, friends and clients that were really hard were things like firing a family member or an entire group of employees all at one time.
Uh, who, who, but like, you know, not just like, like, oh, um, like people that like, you didn't get along with like, no, these are like people you care deeply about, and then you still have to get right. Super bummer, uh, stopping an ongoing paid project because they are the ROI isn't there, but the person who's doing the paid project for you is your friend.
And now you feel bad. So this is kind of like firing a person, except like they're not, they're sort of doing like a contracted project and not like directly working for you, like on the regular. And, uh, you really enjoy being able to pay them, but you realize, oh, It's, this is not actually like, I, it doesn't make sense for me to keep paying them.
Right. If you're super shitty launches that don't go, as you hoped real common, real, real, common having to do extra caretaking either for kids or adults. Right. You're like, okay, well, uh, yeah, so I was gonna. You know, do that launch. And then my kid got sick and couldn't go to school and I had to, you know, be with them.
And, um, I had to postpone the whole lunch or I had to, you know, or like, I couldn't give as much energy to the launch and it didn't go as well. Or, you know, all sorts of all sorts of things like that. Or, oh, I have a parent who's really ill or they are dying and I have. Uh, we navigate that while trying to grow my business.
Very challenging. Um, dealing with health challenges, both your own. Or other people in your life dealing with legal challenges. Uh, even if you have, you know, a great attorney, it's still mental energy, emotional energy, money, time dealing with home challenges. One of my clients is navigating a huge, uh, like construction project in her home because they had a house fire.
Luckily everyone was safe. Luckily they. You know, she has, she like has the flexibility in her schedule to set up all these appointments and call the insurance and everything. But it's still time that is being taken away from her business. And it's still disruption to where she works to run her business.
Very real, a client needing to wrap up early. I've had clients I've worked with where the thing that we were strategizing. Happen because of outside circumstances, right. Because of, uh COVID um, like resurgences and like spikes and things like that. Right. So, you know, it, it felt right for me that we not continue, uh, the project, like when they said, Hey, I know we're in contract for another three months, but like, I can't actually do the thing now.
And, you know, and I'm just wondering, like, if we could end early and I check in with myself and I go, well, I, you know, I could hold them to it, but also it doesn't feel right. Um, and so, you know, I, I say, yep, we can end your contract early, which I'm happy to do. But also as the CEO, that's three months of payments that I was expecting to come in that now aren't there.
Right? Just the reality, right? It's no, nothing is right or wrong about it as seriously. It's just, what is a potential client that you were certain was a yes. Who then wasn't we were like, woo. Yes, they're perfect. We're going to work together. I'm so excited. This is going to be great. And then it doesn't happen.
I'm wanting a pivot to be just complete and done and profitable already. Like you're navigating a pivot and you're in the middle of it. And you're like, okay, this sucks. Like I just want to be done. I want to be on the other side of this. Right. I want to be making the money that I want to be making on the heels of this pivot, but I'm not quite there yet.
Right. These are just some, I could probably come up with 50 more. Like just from people. I know people I've worked with my own life, right? My own life and business, running this business, running other businesses, there's all sorts of stuff. I mean, like literally when I used to, um, manage the sales part of this huge farm in upstate New York, there was a hurricane that decimated an entire field worth of crops.
It's still, when I think about going to see the field after a, to put it into perspective, this farm was like an hour, little over an hour drive from where I lived. And I like held it together when I was there with my friend and like serving the damage and everything. And then I got in my car and I ugly cried the entire drive home.
And like every once in a while, Think about it again, it, this has been years since it happened. And like my, my eyes will just fill with tears because it was so horrific to be like, oh, that was a lot of money in seed. That was a lot of money in labor. A lot of time, so much time they were fall crops. If you know anything about, you know, growing gardening, anything.
That labor and that money. And that time was the entire growing season. And it was in, I think it was in September. Right? So it's just before harvest. This was not like a whole lettuce that takes like 30 days to grow and we can just plant more like, and then, because it was a stream that jumped its banks and.
There were like factories and like whatever upstream. And, um, and also the water had like carried over land that had like pesticides, all sorts of stuff on it. And then went on to the field. It was also uncertain if that field would be safe to replant on and stuff. Right. This was horrible. Horrible. And like, it also just is right.
It didn't happen because my friend screwed up as a entrepreneur. Right. It didn't happen because I made a bad choice in his business. Uh, it was just nature. It just happened, right. If you're in a launch and like all of a sudden, you know, a huge global event happens and people understandably get distracted and your launch doesn't go well, It sucks.
And it also doesn't mean that it's your fault. You could have a business, like I've had businesses, I've had clients with businesses that had in-person businesses and then COVID happened. It decimated their business. They had to pivot. It sucks. Right. And, and I know it's a little bit easier when you're like, oh, it's a hurricane.
Of course I'm not going to beat myself up. But like, I would just say. Don't underestimate how traumatic it can be, even when it's not your fault. But. Something happens and you now have to deal with it and you are also like, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. And I, the last thing I want to do is to deal with this, right?
Like I ju I want to try to just normalize, like at the end of the day, we are humans. We are humans running businesses and humans have emotions. We have history. We have, you know, Thoughts. We have beliefs. We have a lot of things that. Are trying, you're trying to get to work in harmony with other people who we are hoping will buy our stuff who also have their own thoughts, beliefs, emotions, history, feeling.
And then we are also part of the larger world. Like we're part of communities that could be impacted with different things at different times. Right. Um, we are part of a global community, right? Like these things. Happen. This is, this is real life, right? And like, capitalism will have you believe that like we'll know everything, you know, growth should be, uh, infinite, right.
Growth to just be infinite. We should constantly one quarter after the next should be better, you know, than the one before it, we should always keep increasing profit margins and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. Um, and. That has caused so much harm and pain and suffering and you know, through exploitation.
And I know you and I are not doing that, right. So it means that we have to be willing to embrace that. Sometimes things will be really hard and they will be really messy. So I want to give you some tips on what you can do first step. Just remember, things can change in any moment. Like literally you could wake up tomorrow, have three new leads seemingly out of the blue now.
You know, the strategists to me is like, well, they won't really be out of the blue. You could probably trace them back to things that you did. Right. Connections, you made marketing, you've done things like that, but literally, like it could happen that fast three new clients this week. And I know that that doesn't necessarily like, we would just love to know so that we could plan.
But again, there's really no way. There's really no way of telling. Just trust. Try to like, have a little trust that like things could change at any moment. And if you have proof in the past that they have, where you're like, oh my God, I'm so stressed out. And then like all of a sudden you got a client who wanted your highest offer.
You'd be like, oh, that's right. It happened before. So theoretically it could happen again. And did I do anything back then that like in hindsight, I can figure out that like, kind of made it happen. If, so, try to replicate that now. Number two, think about what is the root of the disappointment or frustration?
Is it your ego telling you that you should be further along, that you should know better? Um, that because of what you do, you must not be like legit enough for it to have happened, right? This is especially true with people who do similar work to what I do, right? Like if it's like business coaching, business strategy, things like that, sales or marketing, any of those things, because it's like, well, this is the thing I teach and my business isn't perfect and humming along all the time.
Am I an imposter? Am I knowledge it am I like, am I like bullshitting people? Because. They're like, if I have any issue in my business in terms of like revenue, then that must mean that I'm a phony and I'm like scamming people. Right? Like, I know that sounds ridiculous, but like, just trust me if you are not.
If, if the business you do is like, not that, like, trust me. I feel like business coaches are extremely, we are extremely hard on ourselves, like streaming. Um, or is it because you really want it to be able to do work that you believe in and feel purposeful about? Right? Like, and it could be multiple of those at one time, but really think like, where is the voice coming from?
Where is the disappointment coming from? Is it because you, you made an assumption about something and then you realized that assumption was wrong or you had a belief and you realized like, I don't think that's really a supportive belief. Maybe I need to change my belief or is it that you're like, Well, I didn't, I didn't really like need the money necessarily from that launch.
Like, but like, I really, I just want it to be successful because like, I've, I've always wanted to have a program like that. And like, I'm just bummed because I thought this would be the time that I could write. Um, just know, like, if it's the former, uh, in terms of, you know, your ego. You're you're in good company.
Uh, trust the people at every level have, you know, their version of hard and their own knowing setbacks. Um, I mean, just God, again, I could, I could have a four hour episode, so listing annoying setbacks. Um, one of my most successful friends, she just had to let go of like a bunch of people in her business.
It was really hard and she's moving ahead in the future, it won't be so fresh. It will be a memory. Um, but it doesn't mean anything about her as an entrepreneur. She a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant business woman. She's fantastic. And she's somebody I admire and me on the outside. How could she have known better?
Right. If you are the person of your friend group or of the people, you know, like who is kind of the first like to have a business of her, you know, her size and her structure and her revenue, like if you are making decisions and you don't have a lot of other people, who've also been there that you can learn from.
You are like breaking new ground. Like, so there's no, there's no way you would know. You can just, you're doing your best, right. At any given moment. Uh, I like to assume that people are just trying their best with the knowledge and the skills that they have. Now, if it's the latter where you're like, no, it's not really so much of an ego thing.
Like I just want. Feel purposeful in my business. Uh, then there are things that you can do to give yourself that gift of feeling purposeful. And I'm going to give a few, I'm going to give you a few suggestions and then we'll, we'll wrap it up, right? So you can think about. How can you surprise and delight someone?
How can you remind yourself that you are a kick-ass talented human and whatever the thing is that you do? Right? So how, if you're like, I'm just really bummed because I just really wanted to be able to do that thing. I thought it would be fun. I thought I could impact people in a positive way, and then it doesn't quite happen.
How you hoped, at least not right now. Doesn't mean you can't try to redo it in the future. And get different results. But if you're like, I still want to feel like, yeah, I like I've got this. Like, I'm, I'm good. I'm valuable to other people. Like I'm I make people's lives better in some small way. Here are some things that you can do write a glowing testimonial for somebody, right.
Go to their Google page or, you know, their Google business page, their Facebook page, their LinkedIn. Glowing testimonial, use your platform to shout out people, to drive business their way. So, you know, go on Instagram, think of five to 10 of your favorite people to follow people. You've done business with whatever it is, share them in your stories, tag them, tell your followers why you love the person so much.
Why they're so amazing to follow why they're so amazing to work with, et cetera, help some people. And I do not mean like fully take them on as a client, but could you host some hot seats or post on stories and then give advice in the DMS to people who participate. Right. So let's say you do content planning.
Could you do like a content planning workshop that has coworking attached to it? Right where you're like, oh, I'm going to do some hot seat audits. And then. Allow you to like, you know, going to give you some time to do some brainstorming and then, uh, we can, you know, that I'll help you through it. If you have any questions, right.
Or you're like, I'm going to do, I'm like, let me audit your sales page and give you some tips that could be like, if you're a copywriter, something, you know, something along those lines. Again, this isn't like, oh, I'm taking you on as a free client for six months or, or something of that nature. But like, how can you make someone's day brighter with the thing that you do for free?
You can also look back over every testimonial or kind word you've ever received. That's always a nice one. Remember how far you've come? Literally think back to how few skills you had at the beginning and how hard they were to learn. And now you do them without even thinking about them. I think about this with like recently, like a Facebook memory popped up where I was talking about like writing my first sales page and stuff, and I'm like, wow, I forgot.
I forgot that there was a time that writing a sales page was like a nightmare that setting up an automation. An active campaign for like hosting a workshop, a nightmare. It took me a whole week. I have a team that does it now, but like, if I had to do it, I could do it in like an hour tops. Right. Um, but it used to be so hard and now I take it for granted, like, oh yeah.
That's just the thing I know. Right. It's think about how far you come reach back out to past clients and say, hi, see how they're doing no strings attached. Right. Just check in. Hey, I was thinking about. Tell me what's new in your world. Tell me what's good. Tell me how I can support you. Think about other things you've done outside of business that were really hard, but you did them anyway.
Every time I'm like, I don't know. I'm just doubting myself and I feel like an imposter or blah, blah, blah, and whatever I am like. Okay, hang on, hang on. You've done hard things. You've done really, really hard things like. I played roller Derby. I refereed roller Derby. I ran for office. I spoke before members of Congress.
I've moved states like multiple times in my life. Right. Like, and on and on and on. If I can do those things. And like, they didn't pull me under, if I can run for office and literally have people in my community, like bullying me online. Like I can launch a thing. I can create a new offer. I can host a workshop.
I can, you know, pivot, I can rebrand. I can do those things. Like we can do hard things. Um, you could also be helpful in communities. So if you're part of online communities, go through people's questions and give really good answers on the things that you have answers for. Again, no strings attached, right?
Just going in. You're like, I want to be helpful. I want to show up on a, make someone say brighter, and then lastly, do something helpful for a friend or a loved one. Doesn't even have to be in business. Right. Is there somebody in your life that you can reach out to and just be like, Hey, I was thinking about you, do you need anything?
You know, can I help you out this week in any way? Um, you know, or like here's a Starbucks card, $10. Here's the code? Go use it this week. Love you, right. Uh, any, you know, anything like that, all sorts of things there's we always are. We can, we can be at choice was so many things. And I try to remind myself this because sometimes it feels like, well, I don't have a choice.
I don't have any choices. This thing didn't go as I wanted it to. And now I don't have any choices. I am, I am stuck. I feel very stuck. I feel frozen in place. And I am frustrated because I had an expectation. That wasn't met and now I don't know what to do and it feels helpless. So I always try to remember, like, how can I be at choice?
Where am I not helpless? Where can I do something for others that shows that reminds me of what I'm actually capable of. And I go from there. That doesn't mean that all of a sudden three new clients are going to sign up. It might not happen. It might not happen this week might not even happen this month, but I am re training my brain to, to look for possibility rather than just be like, this is really hard and it will never not be hard.
Right. Cause sometimes when things feel really hard, you're like, this will never not be hard. Like. W what the hell. Right. And, and again, the reality is, is like it's always going to ebb and flow. It's ju I think of everything, like, because my background in farming and stuff, I think of everything is a season.
Everything is not flourishing. And every season and capitalism has lied to us and marketing in many ways. Uh, I, don't not like lied, but given us one vantage point where it's like flourishing flourish and flourishing growth, growth, growth. Right. And so when things don't feel like they're flourishing and thriving, when growth doesn't seem to be happening immediately in this moment, it can be really easy to be like, oh, oh, I'm just fucked here.
I hear everything's about to go to shit. Oh, I have to. I have to tell a friend that I can't like, uh, I can't afford to keep this project going right now. Right. And link. I don't know what will happen. I can't control what will happen with that. Right. I can't, I can't control how some, how that is received or, or how somebody feels.
I might have the way that I want it to go, but I can't control it. Right. Um, does that mean that like it's, it's done forever. No, could I work with them in the future again? Yeah. Might it cost me more sure. But ideally I would be making more, right. Like that's just one example, right? Like, oh, okay. You have to let somebody on your team go.
Whoa. Is it possible that there's also somebody else out there that you could bring on? Probably. Okay. This thing didn't sell as you hoped. Okay. Well, could it be that you try it again in two months and it goes differently? Sure. Could it be that you tweak something? Then it actually goes better. Like you get feedback on it.
Maybe something was weird about like the name or the sales page or whatever. And you're like, oh my gosh. Oh, I see. Okay, cool. I'm going to relaunch it. Right? Like when things appear to be dead, right? Like in, in winter, at least the Northern hemisphere, when it seems like, oh, this is, everything is bad.
Everything is. The things are when it's fall and it's beautiful and then believe, start to fall. And it's like gray out and gross. Like at least where I live. You're like, oh my God, this is, it looks really depressing. And it's hard in that moment to be like, things will be different at some point, because when it is like the dead of winter, you're like, I know theoretically spring will come, but it feels like it will never be here.
And then. You get that one day? That's like the early it's like false spring. Like we call it where you're like, That's beauty. It's like beautiful house and the snow was melting. And like, and then of course, you know, there's usually like another snow or, you know, it's, it doesn't stay right. It gets false spring.
Right. You're not fully there, but it's a glimmer. And you're like, oh, I can actually believe it. I can actually, it feels, it felt so far away, but wow, it's here. It's actually here. And like here I am still existing and like spring is still coming and I know this is super corny. I hope. I hope that like, you can really embrace this corniness and all, because it's like, it's true.
We, it is unhealthy for like, it would be unhealthy for like a sunflower to try to grow all year. Right. Uh, sunflowers have their seasons businesses have their seasons. So when something is feeling like block, right. Even on a field where you're like, okay, we need to like, let it be like, it needs to rest. We need to, you know, we're, we're going to like, not replant in it right away for like production crop.
But like, we're going to plant some crops that are like, put nitrogen back on like a cover crop. Again, we're going down all these farming rabbit holes. Right? You put on a cover crop because of. Rejuvenates the soil for the next time you plant on it, you're not necessarily doing anything with that cover crop.
You're not necessarily selling that cover crop for profit, but you're letting the soil be healed so that it can keep regenerating again and again and again. And sometimes you will have seasons where things happen in your business. Maybe not even your whole business, you could have parts of your business that are going swimmingly.
But another part that is really hard. What can you do to nurture that part in the meantime, and to get support so that when it's ready to be replanted, it can flourish. All right, I'm going to stop here. So many analogies, lots of farming, lots of rambling. But, you know, this is a heavy, it's a heavy thing. It sucks.
It's it sucks, but I hope you got a lot out of this. Remember, you can always find me on Instagram, Eric Tobin's consulting, come over there, say hi, tag me in your stories and as always happy selling.
