Ep. 077: Build Self Trust for More Success
It doesn't get talked about enough but working on trusting yourself in your business will shift just about everything for you. This year I've learned to trust myself in ways I didn't even realize were lacking and it's directly impacted the way I show up and sell. It took me investing in several programs that were absolutely worthwhile, but mostly for the fact that I realized I already knew 80% of what I was being taught. Turns out I'd just been selling myself short! If you constantly doubt yourself or feel like you haven't quite arrived at the level you desire, tune in & learn how to build more of your own self trust.
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED TODAY:
Your Next Big Thing Intensive: http://bit.ly/nbt-intensive
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Welcome to the sell it sister podcast today. I'm going to be talking about something that unfortunately, I think does not get spoken about enough in the world of business.
And that is the importance of building self trust within your business as a way to actually have more success and just more satisfaction overall. I'm going to be sharing some personal stories with you, and then also some suggestions on how you can cultivate more self-trust. But I will say that.
Sometimes lack of self-trust or struggling with this can have a deeper root to it. There might be some, some trauma or some other things that need to be worked on with a professional. And I am not that professional. So to that, I would just say, if you find that you think or know that you do need. More professional help to work on this that I would strongly suggest seeking someone out who can do that deeper work with you.
This is really just something I just want to eliminate and, um, share a point because this has been something that has been a big theme for me, um, this year, but obviously I'm not like a licensed mental health professional, or a certified mindset coach or anything like that. So. Just wanted to put that out there at the top.
Um, but this is really like, as I just mentioned, this is been a huge thing that I've noticed in myself this year. And then as I've noticed it, I was kinda like, Oh, damn. I feel like we don't like, you know, there's a lot of minds, like a lot of businesses, mindset work and everything, but I feel like self-trust kind of gets left out of the equation and it's.
Been really a huge thing for me this year and a huge reason why I can honestly say looking back, I have stepped into this new level of my business and how I show up and how I price my offers and just all of it. And I really like, I owe a lot of it to the mindset work I've done around. Self-trust so I'm going to go way back.
We're going to go in the time machine and go back three years to when I was starting this business. And it was a new business for me. I didn't feel super confident. Like I, you could give me a product to sell somebody face to face and I could easily sell it because that was what I was used to that's I trusted myself to be able to sell that, but suddenly.
I was online and I was selling a service and I was selling myself. And then that felt weird and different and hard. And as I've already said in the past, I hired a coach right out the gate because I knew that I wanted help and support with all of this and what I kept telling my coach. Over and over again was like, well, but I feel like I can't, I can't put myself out there, uh, you know, with people who need help with X, Y, Z, because what if they actually also need help with ABC?
And she's like, well, they might, but you're not telling them that you're going to help them with ABC and XYZ. You're just telling them you're going to help them with XYZ. I'd be like, I know, but Megan, like, but what if they think that I will, and then they're going to hire me and they're going to work with me.
And then yeah, I won't solve all of their business and life problems. There'll be super disappointed. And like, in my mind it was like my friend Kendra, and I used to joke about like, you know, one day someone's going to send me a Reddit thread. That's going to be like Erica Tabin sucks. And it's going to be this subreddit about how.
I suck and I swindle people and I take their money and I'm ineffective. Like, like literally, like, can we, let's be honest. We've all, we've all had these freakouts. Okay. Can we just normalize like the mental freak out because it's so, so real. And I was holding myself back from putting myself out there in this bigger way, because I kept thinking.
Like, I'm just going to leave people disappointed. I'm going to be, it's going to be super disappointing and I'm not going to be able to wave this magic wand over their business. And so they're going to hate me and they're going to tell everyone else they shouldn't work with me as well. And what I had to realize is that that's not really how things are like, unless you're promising that.
There, there's no reason that anyone would assume that that would be the case, right? So like just chill. Can you take it down a notch? And, but that was really something like, I could only learn it by continuing to forge ahead and putting myself out there and doing the mindset work and like refining my messaging.
And just literally that experience of working with client after client, after client and feeling what it felt like in my body to be like, Oh, I'm actually helping people. I'm actually good at this. I am not scamming people. They are not expecting a magic wand. Right. Like I had to just. No, this, and I could only know it by doing it by going through it.
I, I couldn't do it by just by journaling and sitting in my office thinking about it. Right. I had to do it to like walk through the fire. And so now we're gonna route go back, you know, fast forward to the beginning of this year of 2020, where. I was in, I was a member of a group program, a group coaching program for people who were all at the same, like revenue level at the time.
And that was really amazing. Uh, I'll talk more about that in a second, but it was really amazing experience. And then right, like overlapped with that was. That I was chosen to be an assistant coach in Jenny. She's make it work online program. So like Q one and Q two of this year, I'm in one and I'm helping with one.
And what I realized in the one that I was in is that in our monthly trainings, every monthly training, like 80% of it. I knew exactly. Like I knew the information and the other 20% was amazing. But going into that, I was believing because I wasn't fully in self-trust with myself. I was thinking everything that is, I'm going to be learning.
It's all going to be brand new information because I'm not yet to where I want to be. So therefore it must be. Because I don't know enough. So I'm going to learn every, I'm going to learn all these secrets and then I'm going to take these secrets and implement them. And then it's going to get me to where I want to be.
What I realized was, Oh shit. I already know like 80% of this. And, and this is not a bad thing. Right? I'll, I'll get there in a minute, but I will say this is not a negative. I was not upset. I was actually super excited about this. And then on our group coaching calls, my amazing coach. She'd be coaching the other women who, again, we're all making about the same amount of money.
And she would say stuff to them that I'm like, I totally, if this, if that person was my client, I would have totally said that to them. Right. Like that's the exact advice that I would give them. It's exact question, ask whatever. And what I realized, because. I loved my coach. She's an amazing coach. She's super fantastic.
What I realized was, was like, Oh, damn, like, why do I think I don't have the answers? Why do I think I'm like, not like good at what I do. Like Mount that. I thought I wasn't good at what I do. Did, but like, I, I felt like I, I wasn't like I hadn't arrived or I wasn't good enough. Right. I was like, it was this feeling of like, not enoughness, I don't know enough.
I don't have enough skills. I don't have enough, like whatever. And I was really in my head about it. And I kept seeing over and over again, like. Oh, my gosh, she's she's coaching in the way that like I would be coaching. And then when I watched the other coaches in the make it work online program and I was helping in there, I was like, Oh, damn, same thing.
These are paid coaches and somebody else's program. And they are helping and they're getting paid to be here and they're being trusted to represent this person's brand and this offer. And like, I would be saying the same thing. And as my mastermind wrapped up, my coach said, you're one of the few people I would ever trust to coach in any of my programs.
And I was like, damn again, like, so I'm, I've been watching these people who were trusted, paid coaches, and now she's telling me I would, I would trust you to coach them my program. And my mind was just. Blown. Cause in my mind this whole time I was sick. I'm not on the level. I'm not enough. There's still so much more need to learn and blah, blah, blah.
And here I am being told by someone I trust in a Meyer. Oh, Hey, I would trust you to represent my brand to my clients. And it was like, my brain exploded because suddenly I was like, why have I been selling myself short? Why have I not been fricking trusting myself? Right. So all of that to say, like, I wasn't mad that I invested in those, it like in that program with my money.
And I wasn't mad that I invested my time helping out in the other program because ultimately yes, 20% I learned. 80%. I already knew, but because it affirmed to me that, Oh, I already do know what I need to do. Right. And I already am coaching. Like I'm already giving people really good advice and really good strategy and all of this stuff, it showed me like, girl, you have got to stop.
Not trusting yourself and that shifted so fast forward to the middle of the year when a membership community, and there's this bonus training on money. And I go, and I'm super pumped. I'm like, this is it. I'm going to get all the answers. This is going to launch me to the next phase, right? Like, this is, this is how we do, this is the pattern, right.
We're always looking outside of ourselves. Oh, they know more, they know better. Oh, I'm gonna. I'm going to do their thing and I'm going to learn all this stuff, and then it's going to launch me forward. Right? We're always looking outside instead of looking inside, trusting ourselves that we have more answers than we give ourselves credit for that we know more than we think we do, and that we can trust her own our own instincts and our own intuition.
Right. So I'm at this training, there's hundreds of people I'm looking in the chat. And we're, we're doing it. And I'm like, Oh my God, this is so similar to my money Monday. Right. I have this, the podcast episode that people love on money. One day I talked to my clients about money Monday, talk on Instagram, about money.
Monday. A lot of people have started doing this and they love it. And they tell me about it. And I'm sitting here with all these other people whose minds are blown. They're blown up the chat and it's very similar to my money Monday practice. And I was like, Oh, Okay. And again, there's 20% from that, that I learned that I was like, Oh, that's a cool idea.
Actually, I'd never thought of that. I really liked that. I'm going to, I'm going to start implementing that. Like this was cool. I'm glad I came. But what it showed me was people are getting a ton of value out of this. The person who's teaching it, it was. Not cheap to like to pay it the money to upfront, to be able to go to this training.
Right. So a few thousand dollars and, uh, and also she makes a lot more money than me. And I was like, again, damn, you've been selling yourself short. You actually do know a lot. You do provide a lot of people value. Like you, you are. You are enough, right? That's essentially, you are enough as you are right now.
You don't need to keep assuming everyone else has these answers. And that's why they deserve to charge more and make more and have more support and all of this stuff. Right. And so where other people would get pissed and be like, I can't believe I invested money and to learn something I already knew.
Like, you know, that's a refrain. You hear all the time. I can't believe I learned, I paid money to learn something I already knew. Instead of looking at it with that negative mindset, I flipped it around and I was like, actually, I'm glad I spent this money because it showed me that I am selling myself short.
It showed me that I am worthy of the rates. I want to charge that I am. Worthy of being some, somebody that people invest in I'm wordy because of my 15 years of knowledge and experience and just like my innate strategic gifts, I am worthy. And so in that, and through some other like introspection and just other stuff on, on working on my own self trust and going through some exercises and stuff more deeply with some other people.
It really showed me like what can be possible for me and that I need to stop this habit of selling myself short of this, not enoughness of this fear of disappointing others. And it really illuminated like, Oh my God, we all do this. We into in our own way, like to a certain degree, we all do this in our own.
Businesses. So this is my very vulnerable, like showing up reminder to you that you are not broken if you do this to yourself as well. Right. This is just so freaking common. So here's what I would like you. So do think about the work you do, you do with people. Think about the value. You bring to people, think about the special thing you do in the way you do it.
That is different from every other person, because no person is like you. And then keep showing up and doing the work and trusting yourself and listening to what people say about you and their wins that track people's wins, track their praise. Get those testimonials. All of that really look with a critical eye and notice and feel a little weird, but with a critical eye, look at that.
Look at those things that people say about you that are unique and special and how you've helped them and how they have felt like damn working with you was super rad and magical. And I loved it and I'm grateful for it. And then whenever you get that inkling, That you're like, I'm not enough. I need to get answers outside of myself.
They know more than I do. They're better than I, what I, whatever that my trash is, just take a beat, take a beat and think, do I need to go to that webinar, that training enroll in that course enroll in that program and, and just, just sit with it for a second. Maybe the answer is yes. But I just, just wait. A beat is all I would have to say because the answer might actually be no.
And here's the other thing, if you do, if you do spend the hour on that workshop, if you do enroll in that course, if you do enroll in that program or hire that coach or whatever, I would just say no, that. You get what you get out of it based on your mindset going into it. Right. And if you want the magic wand from any one thing, I think you're going to be very sad, right?
It, for the people who actually do expect that one person is going to solve everything for them, it's probably not going to happen. You're probably going to be. Pretty disappointed or you're going to be spending a million dollars on it. Right. Um, but go into it with this notion and stat of. Whatever I learned from this, I'm going to take it and utilize it as a lesson, either as a lesson that is like, it's going to get me further because they actually taught me a skill that I didn't have or, or something, or a strategy, whatever.
And that I'm going to utilize it. I'm going to put it to work. I'm going to put it into action and that is going to move me forward. Or it's going to reaffirm for me that, Oh, I actually didn't need to spend 60 minutes on this webinar. Huh? Interesting. I actually knew. 80 90, a hundred percent of this. So.
Instead of me assuming that I needed to learn it from this other person, why am I actually not out here teaching it? Or why am I not out here being more bold teach, talking about what I, what I know what my expertise is, right. And this is going to be just like anything mindset. This is going to be an ongoing.
An ongoing practice, but just keep being curious, keep trusting and, and keep doing the work. Because the more that you work with people, the more that you like recognize your own brilliance. It is going to keep building that confidence muscle that self-trust muscle and every single time it's actually going to make what you do easier.
It's going to make how you show up in your marketing easier. It's going to make how you set your pricing easier. It's going to make your sales conversations easier. It's going to make it all easier because you will know that you aren't saying, hire me for this thing, and I'm gonna solve everything for you.
You're saying. I'm staying in my lane. I know what I'm great at. I show up with integrity, but when you invest in me for this one thing and you show up as an energetic match, ready to do the work and not expecting miracles, that you are going to have a kickass experience with me. So I hope that's helpful if you had any thoughts, ahas takeaways, questions, anything I'm always hanging out on Instagram at Eric Tobin's consulting.
Go ahead. You could even snap a screenshot of this post to, in your stories tag me, or just come by, sign into my DMS and say hi. Cause I love, love, love hearing for my listeners and as always happy selling. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the, sell it sister podcast. If you loved it and you want more, be sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and then head on over to sell it sisterhood.com to join my free Facebook community group. And as your mama said, sharing is caring. So if you got a lot of value out of this episode, be sure to share it with your biz besties too. Okay. Now get out there and sell it, sister.
