Ep. 069: #BossBabe Culture, Integrity & the Truth About $10K Months
This episode was inspired by a very misleading IG post I saw recently by a business coach claiming that when people say they had a "$10K month" they don't mean "cash-in-hand." For awhile I've wanted to discuss this toxicity of #BossBabe culture and the lack of integrity many business owners display, but this was the tipping point. If the term #BossBabe feels empowering to you, keep using it! But this is more about what often gets displayed online under the label of #BossBabe or #GirlBoss. Sadly, these are the same harmful systems that have unfortunately run rampant in capitalism such as exploitation of labor and dishonest marketing.
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Erika Tebbens: Today's episode is born out of, kind of a rant I had recently on Instagram that was sparked by a post that I saw over there by someone who is a Business Coach. Uh, and don't worry, this is not, I'm not like talking about like Marie Forleo or anything like that. This is not like one of the, the huge like business celebs or anything.
Um, and I'm also not going to call out the person cause I don't think it's necessary. Uh, this is more evidence of a prevailing issue in the world of, of business coaching. Um, and I feel like of just kind of that whole industry in general, and it really like why really want to talk about it is because, um, I'm going through and I'm doing some work right now in my own business on like, what are our five core values and how do we live out those values?
Uh, you know, day to day, week after week, month after month in, within the confines, in like the context of my business and my brand. So, uh, as I'm looking at that integrity is the one that is at the tippy top, right? Like, so every, all of the rest kind of come out of, um, integrity. And I find that a lot of marketing that is out there in the online world is just not really rooted in a lot of integrity. I won't, I won't say most like it, at least I don't, I don't know. I probably have biased cause I don't follow a lot of people who I feel don't have like don't, aren't living and working in integrity. So there's probably a lot more happening that I don't see.
But at least of, of the people that I choose to follow, um, a lot of people do put out really good, authentic marketing that is rooted in, um, ethics and integrity. But I think a reason why a lot of people struggle with sales and marketing is because there is this history of the integrity not being there.
And I, it has been on my mind for a bit that I wanted to sort of talk about #BossBabe Culture, because I feel like this is an area that kind of overlaps with all of this. So before I dive in to the post that I saw, and it was about 10K months and what that really means, and I, I want to talk about that or at least my spin on it.
Um, and about making like revenue claims in general. Uh, but I wanted to touch on BossBabe Culture. And I know that for some people, this is very empowering and honestly, I'm one of those people where I'm like, I don't care what you call yourself. Like if you, if you feel empowered by bossbabe, or girlboss, or um, fempreneur, any of those things, like that's totally fine because I think that we get to label ourselves whatever feels empowering to us. So I'm not out here to like, cancel that word or anything. Um, and say that like, "Oh, absolutely we shouldn't, we shouldn't ever say it." But what I, what I don't like about it is I feel that Bossbabe Culture has really become this entity that is like the twin, it's like the, the version of bro marketing, but like in a form fitting mini dress and red bottom high heels. Right. It's like the it's like the, the female twin version of the gross bro dude, with the Lambo who's like shouting and all of that.
Um, because I feel like a lot of the people who really emphasize that ideology and I've seen people post really good, like tweets and like Instagram posts and stuff about this, uh, that I, I feel like what it reduces things too is just corrosive capitalism. But with lipstick. And why that is problematic is because in the typical, uh, bro marketing digital business world, as we've come to know it and see it and I do think the tide is changing. I am hopeful in that because I see a lot of people who are actively pushing back against this, but, um, typically it's been this big money grab, right? Like how much money can we make? And that, and that's the whole goal, right? I, and you know, if you've been listening for a while, I don't have any problem with monetary goals or wanting to make money, right?
It's it's just more than, there's no larger goal of like the impact you want to make in the world, or what you to do with that money or anything. It's, it's very like exploitative. So because a lot of these, a lot of these people I find on the backend are the same people who will talk about getting VAs and team members from overseas and not that like, "Oh, hey, there's great talent overseas. Uh, so, you know, like take advantage of it if you, if you find like a great VA that happens to be in the Philippines, like that's rad use that VA." No, it's, it's always pitched in this way of like, it's so much cheaper, like it's dirt cheap. Like you could be hiring somebody you know, for $5 an hour, $10 an hour to be your VA.
Uh, and they justify it by like, "Whoa, cause the cost of living is like so much different," and these quote unquote like third world countries and all of that. And that is very harmful. It's very exploitative. And while I appreciate the, the like bare bones, definition of capitalism of like being able to start and run a business, like to have the right to start and run my business, capitalism as a system has just run rampant and exploited a lot of people and continues to exploit a lot of people, including these contract workers, right? So even, even things like, you know, you are like, if you essentially have somebody who's working for you full time and they are basically an employee, but if you're only hiring them as like a contract worker cause you want to get around the legalities of like providing the benefits and stuff like, that's a whole other thing.
And I, and I find that for this subset of people, often, there's like, no, there's no shame there about it. Like they're happy to talk about it and put it out there because they don't actually view anything wrong with it. Cause again, there's no larger like value system behind what they're doing.
It's all just about like, "I want to get the most money so I can get the things that we typically view as like flashy status symbols, and I'm going to flaunt those so that everyone around me knows how wealthy and powerful and amazing I am." If you want to treat yourself to some red bottom shoes or a nice handbag, no shame, no shade at all, like go for it.
But I think, you know the difference between being like, "Oh my gosh, I had a really, um, amazing month. And I'm going to treat myself for I'm having a really amazing year and I'm going to upgrade my car and like, I'm getting my dream car," versus, "I just want to make sure other people know how successful I am and I'm only viewing success through the lens of how much money can I make and then how much money can I brag about that I make."
So I hope this is tracking. I hope this is making sense. And I just, I feel like there could be a lot of power in like a bossbabe movement, or a movement that supports women in business.
Uh, and I, I think that there are clusters of people, like, I feel really privileged to be in, um, communities of my own or other people's communities, where there are larger things like larger goals beyond just making money for the sake of making money, like bigger impact goals and personal goals and goals to uh, you know, serve X amount of people with your business. And that is really cool and really inspiring. So again, I think I can see that there are other people out there who are doing this with a lot more, um, integrity and a lot deeper values. And that is amazing and wonderful and gives me hope.
But I just think on the whole, there's been this disconnect amongst women in particular where it's like, well, I just, you know, if, if these dudes are out here, doing this and showing things off then like, "This has to, this is like the only way that success can look, and so I'm going to strive for that and I'm use these like exploitative business practices and I'm going to use these like manipulative marketing practices and these like sleazy sales tactics and all of these things."
And I just think that that is a real is a real bummer. And I think that it, it harms us all because I think as entrepreneurs, we have a real opportunity in the money that we make to leverage that money, to bring about real valuable change that we want to see in the world. And I think that just furthering corrosive, capitalistic practices and principles, but again, just like with lipstick on, I think that's harmful. It's just perpetuating harmful systems that already exist.
And that leads me to a post I saw that I really was like, "I just can't let this go. I have to talk about this because it's not okay." So supposed by a business coach that was essentially saying that when business coaches say, "Oh, I had a 10K month." That they don't actually mean that they had $10,000 that came into their bank account that month.
And I will say, I read, I like re-read the post multiple times. Cause I, I really was like, "I feel like I'm misunderstanding something. I feel like I'm misinterpreting this." And I sent it privately to a few of my trusted friends. So I was like, "Am I, am I misunderstanding this?" And they were like, "No, this is really not, this is not good. This is not right."
Um, because it was saying that it was, it was sort of like here, I'll explain what I mean. And part of why I'm not calling her out is cause she straight upset in there. I learned this from another coach. So in a way I have a lot of empathy for her because, uh, I'm going to, I always want to assume like best intentions, right?
I, I want to assume and hope that her intention was to give people a mindset shift, to feel like if they are disappointed in the revenue that's coming in. Rather than to like, just to look at what is there and feel sad about that, that to, to look at like, what is possible or like the larger picture of the contracts they've got closed and to give them that helpful, like motivational boost and like mindset shift in order to keep going to the point where they really are having like five figures cash in hand revenue once. Right?
So, but, but what the post was saying was, you know, when coaches tell you they have 10K months, what they really mean is that they close 10K worth of business. They had 10K like in contract signed. So for instance, if you had a, you know, $5,000 package and you got two people in then for that package, so $10,000 in contracted work. But the deposit on that work is a thousand each. So you only have $2,000 cash in hand, but you've technically closed 10K worth of contracts. So she was saying not just that you think about that internally and say, "Well, God, I'm really bummed that I only had a 2K month," that you can actually turn it around for yourself and say like, "Oh, but you know, like, let's celebrate the fact that we close 10K in contracts."
No, it was, then you can turn around and tell people, "Oh, I had a 10K month." And this, this deception is where I have the real issue. This is where it feels out of integrity to me. Um, and it's also partly why I don't always think, I feel like it's an easy ploy to get new business, to always be talking numbers.
I don't think that you should never talk numbers. I just mean there are so many variables behind the scenes, too. Revenue coming in and like, okay so if that's the revenue that came in, like, but how much of that is profit, right? Like when you see these people who are like, "Oh, I had a six figure launch."
It's like, okay, well, cool. Like maybe you did have a six figure launch. Like that's awesome. But how much did you have to pay in ad spend? How much did you have to pay in like your contractors and your team and everything behind the scenes? Like what if you had a hundred thousand dollars in sales in your launch, but then like literally you spent $75,000 to make that happen, right? It, it becomes less impressive.
And also depending on your personal goals and where you live and the cost of living and just all of these different things. The amount of, of revenue that you bring in, or the, or even the amount of profit that you make can greatly like it can mean totally different things to totally different people in totally different situations. So I think a lot of times it's, it becomes this easy default to just be like, "Ooh, look at me, I'm a Business Coach and I have these 10K months. And so you should hire me cause I'll help you have 10K months."
And literally what she was saying is, "Hey, when I say that I have 10K months, what I actually mean is contracts closed, not cash in hand. And when I tell you that I'm going to help you hit 10K months, that means the same thing. Contracts closed, not cash in hand." And I suppose in some sense, her honesty about that is good.
So that people who are of the same mindset and beliefs and values as me would be like, "Oh, red flag. Not gonna hire her." Right? That's that's a no go for me. Right? But I feel it's, it also feels a bit predatory. And I feel like it paints with broad strokes, the coaching industry in general, because she's basically implying that every coach, this is what every business coach means.
And I'm like, no. If I'm, if I'm actually telling you like a revenue amount, um, I mean like cash in hand, right? If I'm ever saying that, that's what I mean, this is not trickery. This is not like we're bending the truth to make things seem better than they are. Nope, nope, nope, nope. I am a hundred percent not here for that. I think that's weird as hell.
So there you have it. That is just sort of what I wanted to talk about. Um, if you feel that you have to be proving some sort of like revenue that you make in order to be taken seriously for like the gifts and the value that you offer your clients. I'm here to say, you don't have to. I'm also here to say clearly don't believe everything you read. And I know for a fact that a lot of people are totally honest and transparent and they're not being deceptive. But I'm also just going to say, like, if you see that somebody else is making a certain amount of money and that like puts you into a shame spiral of like comparison with them, that they might, you might not be getting the whole picture, right?
So that's like part one, you might not actually be getting the whole picture of that. And two, it just means that you haven't done that yet. Right? Like you, you can always, there's always ways to learn. And if you're in it for the long haul, like there are always ways to learn and grow and get better at what you do.
And, um, and all of it. So that you can grow your revenue over time so that your average monthly revenue consistently gets to a higher place. That is possible. It's a hundred percent the reality of my own business. And we don't always know what helped somebody like get to that point, right?
Like we are all on our own timeline. We are all on our own journey. Uh, if that person is being honest, take it as, "If they can do its so can I, maybe I just need a little help to get there, but it's possible." And if they aren't being honest, then hopefully that person will be as forthright as this person was. And then people who are freaked out by that kind of marketing can be like, "Oh, thank you for, thank you for showcasing your real truth and now I know to never hire you." Cause that is weird as hell.
Um, and I think just the fact that again, she said she learned it from another coach. Who knows? Who knows if that other coach learned it from somebody else and said that that was going to be okay. Uh, and, and thought that it, that that was okay.
Um, or maybe that coach just doesn't coach with integrity. I don't know. What I do know is that I, I am hopeful that there are enough of us that really want to live our lives with integrity and run our businesses with integrity. That we can have these open and honest conversations. And that we don't just look to weird revenue claims as the only marker of success, because success is so, so much larger than that.
If you have thoughts on this, if you have questions like, no, I'm not. I'm not going to like, after the fact, you know, send people the link to her thing, cause again, I don't want, I'm not like how to docs anyone here. Um, it's just, this is just something that is rampant. And I want you to know that I don't think it's, I don't think it's right. I don't think it's good. And that, um, it's no, it's not always true that when somebody says they had a 10K month that they didn't actually have that cash in hand, like a lot of times they really do have that cash in hand. Um, so yeah, so, but if you have any thoughts, questions, comments, concerns, anything.
If you're loving this episode, if you want to share it with someone, I would love it if you, uh, shared it on Instagram, especially in your stories and tagged me @erikatebbensconsulting and then tag your tag your entrepreneurial friends too, who might want to, who might want to listen to it as well and thank you.
