Ep. 027: Managing Your Money Mindset
Money...it's what we want! If we didn't, we'd be running hobbies instead of businesses. But did you know that a negative money mindset could actually be holding back the money you so desperately want?
It's totally normal to have negative thoughts about money or about people who are rich. We are conditioned to believe a lot of things that put money in a bad light. But if we say we want money and also that money is the "root of all evil," are we accidentally keeping it away? Or when we get it, do we immediately try to get rid of it? Join me for an honest discussion on shifting money mindsets.
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Erika Tebbens: I am so excited to talk about this because money mindset is something I just love, love, love, chatting about and I could talk about, uh, all day long because in the last two to three years, I've done a lot of work myself around money mindset, and it has been a game changer. So first up, I will say my absolute favorite person on the planet for money mindset wisdom is Denise Duffield-Thomas. So you can find her at denisedt.com.
She also has some books. So she has, um, Get rich, lucky bitch and also Lucky Bitch. And she has her Money Bootcamp. Uh, and I think she still owns lucky bitch.com that URL. I think it just directs to her newer site. She's phenomenal. I've been following her for many years now. I'm in her Money Bootcamp. I've read a couple of her books.
Oh, I'm sorry. She also has, um, her newest book is called Chillprenuer. I freaking love it. Highly recommend it. But she is an absolute expert at money mindset. Now there are other people who talk about money, mindset too. There are lots and lots and lots of them out there. Uh, so, you know, there's a plenty of people who you can, um, figure out if you like their style and, and what they're all about.
And then you can follow them and learn from them. But I really just adore Denise Duffield-Thomas, and I'm constantly telling my clients about her. And I really feel like, uh, her Money Bootcamp, it was the game changer for me in so many aspects of my life. So why money mindset? Why even talk about this?
Right? Why can't we just strategize our way to more money? Well, there is a lot of strategy you can do to get to more money. That's where I come in. But if your money mindset sucks, you will either put up roadblocks to prevent that money from coming in, or when you get it, you'll freak out and you will try to get rid of it as fast as possible because you don't feel comfortable having it.
So I'm not going to go into all the steps that Denise does to work through your money mindset. That is for her and her expertise. So, um, and I know she has a bajillion free resources on her website to look at as well. But I will say this: get really real with yourself about how you feel about money. So that's first.
I will say for myself, I was very much the super liberal, punk rock, like screw the man kind of teenager. Um, I really was like, uh, you know, "People with money are evil. They're destroying the world. Uh, greed is like killing us all," and just, oh, I had so many negative thoughts around money. And I always felt like, well, "I'm this creative and I'm a writer and I do art and I'm going to grow up and I'll probably be like a teacher," that was like my main goal.
I'm going to be a high school teacher. And so, um, in order for me to like live my dreams, uh career-wise I'm going to have to be broke. So that was, that was my ideology. If I want to do what I love, I'm going to be broke. Or I can be like my classmates and have a job that I hate and make a lot of money. But I'm going to do the noble thing and I'm going to do what I love and not get paid very much.
That was, that was a hundred percent me in high school and even in college. And, um, I'd really resigned myself to that way of thinking. And then as I got older and a little wiser, and I started to research this stuff, I realized, "Oh, that's not actually the way that it has to be." Right? I've painted myself into this corner here.
And I also realized, like, I was always the person who was like, well, "I get money and then I don't have money. And where does it go? And I don't know what's going on." Uh, I realized that because of my belief about people with money are evil and awful. Anytime I would get money in, I would just spend it like as fast as I could, because I didn't feel comfortable having it. Because if I had money, then by default, it meant that I was an evil, horrible person.
Right? That's what I'd been telling myself for years. So I had to do a lot of work around that and I've had to very consciously and consistently check myself when I'm slipping into a negative money mindset, and then I need to flip it around and work towards a healthier money mindset and better money habits.
So one thing that really, really helped me to break this thought pattern, and now we all have our different ones. A lot of them come from our, from our parents. So, you know, the 'money doesn't grow on trees', 'you have to work hard to make money'. All of these different things that we grew up hearing, I really had to think about, "Is that true?"
Right? Are all people that have money evil? No. Oprah exists. Oprah is wonderful. There's a lot of other people out there who are super philanthropic and lovely and wonderful, and they do a lot of good things with their money. And a lot of things wouldn't be funded if they didn't have their money. So that can't possibly be true.
And wouldn't it be cool if instead of being scared of having money, if I had a bunch of money and I could be philanthropic as well, that would be really cool. Right? So I thought about that and then I thought, you know, is it really true that you have to work hard to make money? Well, I know a lot of people who work super hard, don't have much to show for it financially.
And then I know a lot of people who have a ton of money and they don't work that hard, so that can't possibly be true. And now of course we all know that money does not actually grow on trees, but trees are abundant, right? And opportunities are abundant. And money is actually pretty abundant. When you think about it, it's everywhere.
It's, it's circulating around. It might not feel like it's easy to get all of the time, but it exists. And nature is abundant. And when we look around, there's just abundance as far as the eye can see if we shift our, our thinking and our perspective on that. And really what made, uh, the biggest difference for me was two things.
So one, if I want it to be somebody in the future who did really cool things with money, like travel, like be philanthropic, uh, like, uh, you know, be generous to people when, uh, you know, with my means, then I could do a little bit of that more regularly. So I could set up automatic, monthly donations to my favorite charities.
I could randomly do like a go-fund me or make a meal for somebody or pay for somebody's dinner, when I felt called to do that. And. I could take little trips and travel here and there. And you know, they might not be these huge extravagant luxury vacations, but I can do these little things that make me feel abundant all the time, with the money that I already have.
That I don't have to wait until some future date with some future revenue point or, you know, income, whatever, in order to start doing these things, I can do them on a small scale. Just constantly all the time. Right? And that felt really good. And also the going back to the Oprah thing, I realized, uh, that at the end of 2016, I'm somebody who's very politically active and I was feeling frustrated like politics isn't helping, uh, fast enough in the way that me and a lot of other people I know would like it, right? It's not, it's not progressing to help people in the way that I would like to see it quickly enough. It feels very frustrating and slow.
And I sort of took a step back and I was like, "You know, money makes things happen, whether we like it or not, it just does. And I could sit around and be mad all day long about horrible people with money who make bad things happen in the world. But what if I flip the script? What if I made money and had the means to fund. Things that I wanted to have happen right now before any laws would even be passed? And obviously laws are important and I can back candidates who support certain things. But in the meantime, what if I was able to do other things with money and what if I could teach other women to make money so that they had money to give back to their communities and their causes as well." Right? So that was a big, big deciding factor in getting over my own money blocks and starting this business and working with other women.
And now I know that for a lot of women, one of the things that gets in their way are their own money blocks. Are their own negative stories around money or their own fears about earning money, about keeping money, about having money, about what that might say to about them, about how people might view them or judge them or anything like that.
So, again, I am not the money mindset expert. There are plenty of people out there for that, but I will say one of the biggest components of making and keeping money as an entrepreneur is working on your money bullshit. It's essential. And just know that for every negative belief that you have about money or work, there are other people out there who prove that not to be the case. And that it is possible to be a good person with money. It is possible to be a woman who invests, who is philanthropic, uh, who does amazing things with her money. And it does not make you evil. And that you do not have to work yourself to the bone for the rest of your life in order to be worthy of money. It is inaccurate. It is a lie that we have been peddled. And, uh, there is a way to break out of that mentality.
So go check out, uh, Denise or any other resource on money mindset. Some people are a lot more woo. Some people are a lot more scientific. Some people are kind of a mix of both. Um, but find somebody that you resonate with and really work on your money stories because when you do, it's going to totally transform, uh, how you think and feel about money.
