Ep. 012: How to Make Your Business More LGBTQ+ Inclusive w/ Mason Aid
“We put our money where our hearts are.” - Mason Aid, Educator & Speaker
The LGBTQ+ community has over a trillion dollars in buying power, and will rely on word-of-mouth and brand perception for many of their spending decisions. It's not enough to slap a rainbow on your site during Pride month to show that you are a welcoming business.
Guest expert Mason Aid shares some simple and specific ways that you can show potential clients you're inclusive of members in the LGBTQ+ community.
Worried about "getting it wrong?" We cover ways that some brands get it wrong, and what to do when you slip up.
Regardless of missed revenue opportunity, I hope this episode inspires and encourages you to be intentional about how your business can be more inclusive overall.
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED TODAY:
Mason Aid's website
Gender spectrum stock photos by Broadly/Vice
bystander intervention training
Learn more about my Success Squad mastermind where Mason was first featured as a guest expert
Join my free Facebook community for additional tips & support: The Sell it, Sisterhood!
Get my free No-Sleaze Sales Method delivered right to your inbox: Get Instant Access Here
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Erika Tebbens: I am so excited about this episode because it is my very first interview episode of the Sell It! Sister podcast and I knew right away that I want to mix in some interviews with my solo episodes, but I wanted to be sure that I was bringing people on who could really help you and your business and aspects that I might not be an expert in myself, and I'm certainly not an expert on today's topic, but that is why I have my friend Mason Aid who is going to be sharing so much good stuff with you.
I'm really, really, really thrilled that I was able to have them on, but hopefully it will be hugely impactful if you, uh, take what they say to heart and start implementing a few of the really simple things into your business right away. If you haven't started implementing them already. So I met Mason in an online community just about over a year ago, I think at the time of this.
And we were, uh, I know it's coming out in early July, but we were recording during pride month. So it just felt really fitting to have an expert on a professional who is helping people to ensure that their businesses and their brands are more inclusive to members of the LGBTQ plus community. And, uh, Mason actually covered all of this in my Success Squad.
So the mastermind group that I run, I had them in a few months ago and they spoke on this and right away, I was like, this is amazing. I have to make sure, sure. I share it with my podcast audience as well. I will say there's going to be tons of goodies in the show notes. Uh, as of the date that this comes out, Q3 is starting.
And so my success squad mastermind, my quarterly mastermind is a really great way to get my one-on-one help and get that community support. But I also bring in a lot of guest experts like Mason. To touch on things that are in their zone of genius in business. So it's really a great holistic way to get business strategy and support.
So there's going to be a link for that, uh, in my show notes on this as well, but just on my, um, on my website, you can find info on the success squad as well. So if you are looking for a little bit more one-on-one support and group support and all that good stuff, be sure to check that out. There because I may have a few spaces left.
So without further ado, I hope that you really enjoy this episode. I get you. I hope you get a ton of value out of it. And I would love to hear your takeaways and what you plan on doing this week or this month to start making your business and your brand more inclusive. If you got some really good AHAs from this.
All right. Get ready for an awesome episode.
Hey Mason, you are the very first guest on the Sell It! Sister podcast. I'm so excited to have you. Uh, I have known Mason for a bit online. I've never actually met them in person yet, but hopefully one day because they are awesome, but I knew as soon as I started with this podcast and knew that I would be mixing in some interviews along with my solo episodes, that Mason was definitely at the top of the list.
So without further ado, Mason, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself and what you do for your business?
Mason Aid: Yeah, so, um, like Erika said, I'm Mason, uh, I'm located in Central Missouri, so you know, a little bit rural, a little bit country.
I love it. Um, and what I focus on is, uh, LGBTQ education, um, primarily for cisgender heterosexual people. Um, so those who maybe just don't know, you know, I truly believe that when you look at the, you know, what the LGBTQ community faces, a lot of it is simply ignorance and not bigotry. Yes. There are people out there who are haters, but I truly believe them.
Those people are good people and they don't want to be jerk because they just don't know. And so that's where I love to step in is to just build that knowledge base and build that foundational level where people feel equipped to have some of these conversations, especially in regards to supporting youth who are coming out.
You know, there's such a vulnerable population and they need all the support they can get. So if I can help equip one person to help one kid job. Done.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah, that is awesome. I love that. And how did you, besides your own lived experience, what prompted you to make a pivot and actually turn this into a business? How did that all get started?
Mason Aid: Well, I got started doing, doing the education work through an LGBT teen organization I volunteered with, so I got asked to do a training at a local high school. I did it, I fell in love. Um, I started doing them probono and just doing them from, you know, the love in my heart.
And I, I randomly started to listen, listening to some entrepreneurial podcasts. I was like, Oh, maybe like I can make money doing this. Um, and started playing around with that idea. I started freelancing doing content writing. Um, I had started a blog at this point. And, uh, started doing some freelance work playing around in the entrepreneurial world.
And I met my first coach who was like, Mason, you need to stop doing this for free. And I was like, Oh yeah. Or if you do it for free, have guidelines on how you do it for free. Um, and so I kind of looked like. Stumbled into this online entrepreneurship world. And I'm really finding my space. Um, it's been a lot of fun and, and, you know, I'm still, I'm still learning and growing and navigating.
I've only been at this for like two years now. So, so still pretty, pretty fresh faced, uh, in this world. So it's exciting.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. And I feel like we, I think it was maybe about a year a go maybe a little bit more that you and I connected in that online space and I just fell in love with what you were doing.
And I thought it was so needed and so unique and really important. And I also feel like I wasn't seeing a lot of other people doing what you do. So, so that was, I feel like what initially really drew me to you. And so I love that you are making that available for other people. And I know you and I had talked before you spoke to my Success Squad group, and we talked a little bit about helping entrepreneurs be more inclusive and, uh, in their messaging, in their business.
And I know that there are many reasons why entrepreneurs might want to, obviously, if they are, like you said, people who aren't bigots, who are just maybe misinformed, they don't know like the right questions to ask. They don't know where they should be looking or anything like that. Um, I know that there are a lot of people who want to be inclusive, want their businesses to be inclusive because they have just really good intentions, but maybe they aren't sure what to do, but also I know from a monetary standpoint, why would a business, uh, like want to try to make changes and, uh, spend intentional time learning or hiring you? So to make their brand more inclusive.
Mason Aid: You know, the LGBTQ community is, is actually growing, um, in. The 1940s, 1950s, Alfred Kinsey, who was one of the, uh, first LGBTQ research researchers, uh, cited that about 10% of the population was his guests.
That is LGBTQ. Um, as the Gallup polls are showing, we are getting closer and closer and closer to that actual 10% number of people who self-identify on a survey as LGBTQ. Obviously more than that exist, um, because not everybody is in a space where they can self identify. And, you know, it's obviously not a survey of everyone in the world.
Um, but you know, as society moves forward in our acceptance and knowledge of the LGBT community, more and more people are feeling safe to come out and, and to be out, enter that to be a part of their identity. And so as more people come out, obviously that's more money. And as you know, when you look at the LGBT community, we are insular to a degree.
We word of mouth marketing is where it's at. And once we find someone who we know supports us, we're just going to throw money at you. You know, we know who our people are. For example, I have some friends who, uh, her and her fiancé are planning their wedding and she has come to me with like five or six questions of who she should hire to do their wedding because they're queer couple.
Well that that's, you know, if you have those connections and can, can build that that's money in the bank, uh, the LGBT community, uh, as of like two years ago, it was nearly $1 trillion in buying power. Um, when you look at the segment of the population with the most expendable income, it is a cisgender gay men.
Because, you know, there's, there's a wage gap, that's the thing. And typically don't have kids or if they do it's one and, and tend to be higher earners and they have the most disposable income and we put our money where our hearts are, you know, I'm not, I'm never going to go to a certain chicken restaurant.
I'm never going to go. I've never been, I'm never going to go Starbucks, let me throw money at you because you are not only speaking your acceptance, but you are showing through your policies and procedures and how you treat your employees. That you are inclusive.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. And I, I mean, that is definitely a lot of money that people could be leaving on the table if they aren't showing potential clients and customers that they are open and accepting to working with certain populations. And I think though that we, like, because we're in pride months, this is like a perfect segue.
Mason Aid: Rainbow
Erika Tebbens: Because we are in pride month and it is, you know, uh, a real thing. I know that you have a paid training that people can can get from you that is all on very concrete ways to, uh, have your business stand out.
Like in a sense, a very sincere way during pride month and not just slap a rainbow on your stuff and call it a day. Um, but I know, you know, that there are, there are a lot of those companies that feel like they are just on them, on the money bandwagon, like you said, like they're just looking at the facts and figures and they're like, okay, great.
Well, you know, we'll just, yeah. Yeah. We'll just. Yeah, all those queer dollars like hooray, but like you said, Starbucks really practices what they preach on the backend. And I, I'm a huge believer in word of mouth and raving fans. I love talking about it. So I love that you mentioned, you know, people going direct within the community to find those providers they feel safe with.
Mason Aid: So what are some ways that you suggest entrepreneurs like simple things they could do this week or this month to really see if they are being inclusive and, and what that looks like beyond just being a rainbow on their brand.
One of the biggest things you can look at is the language you use. Um, some industries are more gender than others, for example, like the birth industry and, uh, the wedding industry, super gender, obviously.
Right. So looking at the language you're using on your web copy and content, you know, are you saying bride and groom, or are you saying the couple, those, those little tiny shifts in language, are a huge signal to me and others like me as to whether you're inclusive or not. Um, and whether you're someone we could feel safe with, because it was just brightened group, bride and groom and bride and groom, bride, and groom were like, eh, uh, and, and as well as your, your imagery as well, you know, what are you being intentional in having diverse imagery, whether it's LGBTQ imagery or not?
Like we were looking at the diversity of the images you're using, those are very big things. Um, another thing you can do is just, uh, you know, the biggest thing we can do is to just work on ourselves and learn, you know, where we have biases and, and where, what space we're coming from. You know, if, if, if we all just took a moment to kind of question and reflect on, on where we come from and how that's, uh, you know, been internalized by us, like the world would be so much such a better place.
And I think as business owners, it's, it's really important to show up in authenticity and to admit when you don't know something and to admit that you're learning and when not, if you screw up owning it and learning from it, you know, that's like, even with me doing this work, I'm going to screw it up.
The LGBT community is vast and diverse and, you know, the words that I use to identify myself could mean something entirely different to another person. And so we really have to be intentional in, in meeting our clients where they are, and then using the language they use for themselves. And, you know, especially for service providers and, and being intentional and knowledgeable and growing that base foundational knowledge, because that is what really has the biggest impact.
Like knowing to ask me my pronouns, which are they, their them like is huge. And like when somebody asks me my pronouns, it's like, it's like a weight off my shoulders where I'm like, huh, I don't have to have this conversation where I explained myself, you know, I know that I'm seen, I know that I'm accepted.
I know that I'm heard. Um, and so like having a pronounced light on your intake form, boom done, you know, and having like, uh, if you need a legal name, having legal name, otherwise just having name and using whatever name or if someone says, actually I go by, uh, use the name, they go by done.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah, just the respecting that and, and I think, uh, I want, in a minute circle, back to personal bias and screwing up and fear of getting it wrong. But since you mentioned chin pronouns right now, I do, I want to talk a little bit about that because I know, um, one thing that I had done that was really simple after you had been the guest in my Success Squad was I went into my email signature.
So I had already had in my Instagram bio that, uh, like in brackets, it just says she, her for my pronouns. So people stumbling across my profile when they're looking at the bio, they would know and I feel like it also conveys that sense of that I'm knowledgeable about the fact that different people use different pronouns and that I'm, I'm okay with that.
Um, and, but I completely forgot about the, like my email signature. I just didn't even cross my mind. So that was such a simple fix. It took. Under 30 seconds to go into my email signature. And just after my name in brackets, I wrote she, her and I feel like that was just, it's one of those things. Like it doesn't cost you any money.
It doesn't really take much time at all. Uh, but I, I would not, I don't think I would have thought of it if you hadn't mentioned it. So I feel like that is such, um, an easy win and because you use, like, I love that you also brought up, uh, just asking somebody on an intake form their pronouns, or just not assuming.
So I know because I am sure that well-meaning people all the time. Mis-gender you. But I know it can feel like I'm the one hand we are very conditioned by the gender binary. It's like, you're a, here, you're a she. Right. And so we just, when we're meeting somebody, we just want our like brains just want to categorize into the two and just pick one.
And I feel like we get so nervous about how to approach that with somebody who like, cause we don't want to offend or, you know, assume or anything. So in your expert opinion, what is the best way to approach that when meeting somebody new, where we're, maybe you aren't sure. Or you don't want to make an assumption?
Mason Aid: So the best way when meeting someone new is to simply use your pronouns when you introduce yourself. So like you would just say, hi, I'm Erika, she, her pronouns and that's just part of your introduction that gives me space to volunteer my pronouns or not to. You know, and I think as I think it is going to be, become a more common occurrence for people to introduce themselves with their pronouns.
Um, but that kind of takes the weight off of me to have to explain, Oh, I use data than pronouns. They went to the store and bought their partner potatoes, that was really nice with them. You know, it takes that weight off and signifies to me that, Oh, you're a safe person. You understand that pronouns are a thing.
And, and you're finding, creating space for me to volunteer that information. And that way, if someone doesn't want to out themselves, they don't have to, but if they do, and if they feel comfortable with that, they can, sometimes it's safer to let people assume. So, you know, it's, it's that creates space for us to self identify with someone.
And if you're not sure if someone's pronouns and there's no good way to ask. Uh, just use their name just over and over. Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason, Mason, because you're not going to hurt my feelings. If you use my name, that's my name. Right.
Erika Tebbens: Right.
Mason Aid: And it's like, that's not gonna, that's not gonna cause any, any harm.
It's just gonna be like, Oh, well that sounds kind of weird, you know? But yeah. It's, you know, it's like every time someone uses she, her pronouns with me is like, it's like a punch in the arm, like a gentle, friendly jovial punch. But when it happens twenty-five thousand million times a day, that that's pocket sore, it grows it bruises, it hurts.
And you know, by the end of the day, it's just, ah, not again, it's that drip of water on your forehead? Like one drop you're like, Oh, weird. You know, but after the 50th or 60th drop, you're like, okay, that is flipping annoying. Stop it. Like at the very least, or it's like literally causing mental distress. You know, that's what it's like to have the wrong pronouns or the wrong language used is it's just that, that drop of water that wants you're like annoying.
Okay. But over and over, it just builds and grows. And it just hurts.
Erika Tebbens: That I feel like that is such a, a good and clear analogy for that, because I think that, yeah, I, I feel like most people would think like, Oh, it's just, you know, whatever, but when it's a constant thing all day, long day after day, it just gets really, really, really old.
Uh, and I know, I mean, there's obviously a lot of resources out there like anyone can Google, uh, how to use they, them pronouns or anything like that, there's so, so many resources online for that, uh, that, you know, people are welcome to check out on their own and see, uh, I do know, like you said about it, uh, getting more common, there are definitely spaces I've interacted with that are more, uh, queer friendly or made up of different types of, you know, people who identify different ways or have different, um, sexualities and everything.
And I feel like in those spaces, so roller derby for instance, is one of them that has a huge queer population and, uh, is, tends to be more progressive. I, you know, I can't speak for every league and everything, but generally on a whole, um, because there are more queer folks within the roller derby community.
It is incredibly common that when you are meeting people or you're doing, uh, like a, a meeting before a game, I know when I was officiating, we would circle up and we would kind of, uh, just have like a little mini meeting to prep for, for the game to make sure everyone was on the same page. And everyone would just go around and say their roller Derby name and then their pronouns.
And it was just like, not a thing. And, um, And then same thing in what, you know, when I've gone to different mixers for different events, like for Planned Parenthood, let's say, and where people are making name tags, the, the sample name tag it's like name and pronouns, or there's like buttons that you can get that have already been pre-made and you can pick up one and, and stick it on your shirt.
So I feel like there, there are definitely those progressive spaces that are, uh, doing it more already as a common practice. And it's just sort of a matter of time before, because they're common.
Mason Aid: I think it is going to, to continue to become more and more common. Um, it's really interesting looking at kind of the generational changes in how we're looking at gender.
Um, we're in the midst of a massive shift. Um, so you look at, at, I, I am a millennial, um, and, and, you know, we're, we're, we're pretty progressive with gender, you know, we're pretty cool. But then you look at generation Z, so there's like 13 to 23 year olds, oh, my blog, they are like undoing gender and rethinking gender and more and more are identifying outside the binary.
So they're not identifying as male or female, they're identifying as something out of those social constructs. Unlike is kind of magical and really interesting to watch and interact with these younger people as they, you know, create this entirely new way of approaching gender. It's really cool. And as business owners, you know, whether whether we are hiring or whether we are working with clients or customers, um, as, as society becomes progressively more queer, which is it is.
You know, that's happening. We need to be more and more aware. And if you are kind of on the cutting edge of, of this knowledge, about gender, you're going to have a foot you're going to be ahead of others. You're going to be ahead of your competition. You know, like I know who I'm going to go to for graphic design, because she has worked with me wonderfully and, and understands what I do and, and what kind of imagery I want.
And you know, the same with like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna follow word of mouth and I'm going to work with the people who are receptive and who have learned and are growing, you know, and pretty much exclusively.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. Because it's a, I can only imagine, like it would be. Just be such a horrible feeling for anyone in any, uh, in any case to be giving their money to a provider service provider or you're buying product from them and then all of a sudden you realize that they don't accept who you are as a person. That's like a super punch to the gut.
Mason Aid: I went and got my hair cut at a local salon. And as I was leaving, I said, I needed to go to the restroom. And they said the women's room is around the corner. I've never gone back and I never will and I'll tell all my friends not to go there.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. Not cool. Not okay.
Mason Aid: And that's the fact that I'm going to be like, don't go to this salon.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah.
Mason Aid: It's not queer friendly people. You won't, you know that like people won't and, you know, while the LGBT community is a small subset, like it's still not, it's still money.
It's still, you know, it's still customers, it's still business and, and you know, you can, you can really damage your reputation, if you're not aware and, and you know, I wanna help people be more aware. People just don't know and that's okay. It's okay not to know what's not okay. Is to not learn and to not grow, you know, and to intentionally remain ignorant.
It's okay to have questions like that is I love answering questions, especially when people are scared to answer, ask them, because I know those are the questions I need to be answering, because I know those are the things that are really going to shift the way someone views. The world and, and kind of adjust what their expectations are.
Um, and that's really empowering to me to be able to kind of help shift the, the zeitgeists as to what, how we're looking at sex and gender in, in society today, especially in more rural Midwestern communities, you know, that's where my heart lies. I'm a, I'm a farm kid from Shelby County, Missouri, you know, I mean, Missoura, sorry.
Um, you know, that's, that's where my heart is, is, is on, in the rural communities where kids are coming out and don't have the support they need.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. Which obviously is, is so massively important. And especially for kids and it's, it's interesting that you had mentioned Generation Z and how, and their mindset toward it, because that's the generation that my son is he's 14 right now.
And we have very, very close family, friends who are trans, uh, our neighbor, who he grew up with a year older than him, they just moved a few months ago, but their second child transitioned about a couple of years ago. And so when we told our son about it, you know, we're like, okay, you know, this person goes by this other name now.
And, you know, I don't want to, like, I'm not going to name anyone's children on my podcast or anything for privacy, but you know, it, it was like, okay, great. Like, got it. And we're like, okay, you know, do you like, do you have any questions? Because he's, he's always known our other trans friends as trans, but not through, uh, like the actual transitioning part.
And he was like, no, I got it. It's all, it's fine. And we're like, okay, like, he's basically was like, can I just go back to playing video games? Like this is not a thing. And, and that really made my heart happy that it was not that it wasn't a thing. It was just like, great. I got it. I know the new name. Thank you. It's all, you know, it's all good.
Mason Aid: Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it's like the teenagers that I work with, I'm like, like it really, honestly it made me, it made me feel really good when I was talking to one of my fellow coordinators, the LGBT teen group, um, And they're, they're like 22, 23, right? Like young hip up on it, super into the queer scene.
And we were talking and they were like, I had to Google a term, one of the kids use last night, cause I'd never heard of it. And I was like, Oh, that makes my like 34 year old heart. So happy to know that a 22, 23 year old had to, had to Google something that the teenagers were talking about. Like as far as an identity goes, I was like, Oh, I'm not old.
Like that little validation was kind of magical. That's awesome. I'm not old and uncool yet. Not just yet. Not there yet. Not there yet. That's so great.
Erika Tebbens: So I know, you know, in, in the fact that a lot of the people who I'm sure listening to this are people who really genuinely do want to do better, be more inclusive, like I mentioned earlier, but are really, really, really afraid of messing up, getting it wrong.
Like I will be totally honest. So I, um, My actually just as of recording this, my podcast episode that went out yesterday was me talking about how it's important for me to be out as a queer woman in a heteronormative relationship in business. And that's because much like you were talking about in terms of spending money with people who aren't affirming and inclusive.
I don't want people to be in my orbit who don't accept me as who I am fully and the only way for me to be able to let people know is to be honest about that myself. And if people don't want to then learn from me or hire me or anything because of that, like, that's okay. You're welcome to, but I, I don't want your money anyways.
Like you got to go. Um, but in, in putting that out, um, I was actually less nervous. That bigoted people would send me like hateful DMS or anything like that. I was more worried that maybe something I would say in there would inadvertently be like, quote-unquote, the wrong thing to say. And, uh, and I, so I, I do love and appreciate how you talk about how you still have your own biases and you don't know everything and you still have to.
Potentially Google stuff and research and, and things like that because I, you know, I feel like it's that thing of, we, there there's no one way that every person can know everything and be infallible. So if you could just talk a little bit about that and even like a simple thing, like if somebody does accidentally, like maybe they know you go by, they them and they slip up, like, what is the, the least bothersome way that they should correct themselves.
And then also like in going forward, what would you say about people being worried to do nothing because they might get something wrong.
Mason Aid: Yeah. So like as far as, as using the wrong pronouns, um, when somebody does, like, who knows better?
I like what I like the most is for them to be like, she, I mean, they, and then just move on. And not make a big deal out of it, just correct yourself and move on. Um, there's this concept of, of falling forward. Um, we we're all gonna fall. We're all gonna screw up myself included, you know, that is, is like every word out of my mouth.
I'm like, what if I say something unintentionally jerkish because I just don't know any better. And that's like, this is what I do. I like, I'm still, I still have that anxiety, um, but I know that I am doing my best and that I am learning every chance I get and that when not, if I screw up, I'm going to fall forward.
So my analogy for falling forward is, is again from the world of roller derby. So in roller derby, you're taught how to fall safely, right? And so to fall safely, you fall forward onto your knee pads, and then you put your knuckles down on the ground and hop back up on your toe stops and keep going forward.
So, if you fall backwards, you fall on your back. You flail around like a turtle. You have to awkwardly roll over and lift yourself up and get, and you're, you're in the way you're blocking the progress of the game and it takes forever to get back up. But if you fall forward, I mean, I have literally seen really good Derby players down and out. Like before you even blink.
Erika Tebbens: Yes.
Mason Aid: And so that's the concept. That's what we want to do is we want to fall forward, like hit your knee pads, go up, put your knuckles down, pop back up, and keep going, learn from it, grow from it. You know, try not to make the same mistake again, apologize. Don't delete comments where other people are helping to educate and, and don't get defensive and don't make it about yourself.
Say, ah, I screwed up. How can I learn from this? Learn from it and move on. You know, that's. That's the biggest thing is that we are going to screw up; we're in an interesting space in society today. When you look at, you know, sexuality, gender, identity, race, you know, socioeconomic status, all the things it's so easy to screw up because we're in such a, such a, just a weird space.
But what matters is, is how we recover from that fall. And if you can just gracefully get up and saying. I, I screwed up and acknowledge it and do what you can to make it right. That's what matters. And it's just kind of accepting that I'm going to say something dumb at some point, because, you know, like I grew up in rural Missouri in a 98% white community race is a huge knowledge gap for me that I'm really working on addressing, but I acknowledged that, you know, I acknowledged that there are these internal biases that are like, you know, we talk about like, neural development and how like those, those neurons become hardwired.
And you just make those, those snap judgments without even meaning to, and, you know, you can't necessarily undo the snap judgements, but you can undo what your actions are and what the next thought is. And that's what matters. So if you see someone, you know, like if you were to see, you know, two men kissing and your first reaction was, Oh, you can go, no, why am I freaking out?
Like they're in love, whatever, you know, and kind of rewire that in a way to where, you know, yeah. Maybe you still have a snap judgment, but you don't like freak out about it, you know? Or like you kind of just being aware of where your brain goes and addressing that. And you're like, Oh, that's, that's not cool.
Right. Let's let's not do that. Let's let's relearn some things and relearning and unlearning as possible. It's a thing it's, it's possible. I've had to do it. I grew up very conservative, Southern Baptist and ed was very homophobic and I hated myself. And then I came out and I've had to do a lot of work on that.
And I still deal with internalized homophobia and transphobia. I'm still growing and learning, not to hate myself. And like that's because of the society we live in, you know, a lot of it is societal. So it's like, give yourself some grace. It's okay to screw up. It's okay to screw up. It's not okay to screw up on purpose or to be intentionally offensive.
Yeah, kind of where the line is for me. It's like, if you make a mistake, you make a mistake. Correct yourself, brush yourself off and move on. It's okay.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah, that is, that is truly so important. And it's upsetting. Uh, when you do know those people and I have known a few who repeatedly keep. Messing up and are told and told and told.
And then, uh, you know, at that point it just becomes like, there's no way you're forgetting this many times.
Mason Aid: Exactly.
Erika Tebbens: It’s terrible.
Mason Aid: Yeah. You’re intentionally being a jerk.
Erika Tebbens: Yes, yes. Uh, yeah, the, the first thought and secondary thought, I don't know if it was a tweet or something. I've seen it circulated on social media a bunch, but it's that thing about.
You know, if you see a woman and like a short skirt or like a low cut top, and your first thought, like your first reaction is like, Oh, like, you know what a hoe or something like that. That's uh, that's like your. Ingrained like cultural societal thought, but like your second thought is your true character.
Like when you pause, like you said, when you like, take that moment to pause and think like, wait, why am I automatically assuming that she's a skank because she's in a miniskirt, like, and then kind of unpacking where that comes from and being like, Nope, it doesn't really matter. People can wear what they want to wear.
It's not a judgment on who they are. And yeah, I think that's really important because I think that we like facing our biases can be really uncomfortable, but you have to acknowledge the first thought so you can get to the second thought so you can make those longer change, long lasting changes.
Mason Aid: Exactly. Exactly.
Erika Tebbens: Awesome. So any other tips or anything, uh, where people can. Maybe research or look into or simple things that they can do right away in their business, uh, to show that they're more inclusive and this can include, like anything that you talk about, any ways they can learn from you for free or paid or anything like that.
Mason Aid: Yeah. So as far as, um, what I have right now, I am rocking out launching the first week of July, I believe first or second week. We'll see how life happens. Um, the Aided podcast where I am just going to every week, 20 or 30 minutes, talk about one of these topics and just take some time to dive deep. We're going to have a word of the week so that we can learn some of the definitions of all of the letters in the alphabet soup.
Um, I'm super excited about it. It's going to be super fun. I'm having fun playing with it and making it happen. I also offer masterclasses; those are on hold right now because I've got a lot of life going on, uh, trying to like find balance with a toddler and stuff it's chaotic. Um, but, but those are some ways that you can, that, that you can get information from me, um, as well.
There are so many amazing resources, um, for, for educators or people who work with youth. Um, G-L-S-E n.org is phenomenal. Um, HRC has good information. Um, And, and really just a simple Google search is, is super powerful and a lot of really solid, really good information comes up. Um, and, and I like, I live to be a resource.
So like my email is out there and use it. I will help you find the information you need. If I don't have the knowledge like this is, this is my passion. And my life's work is to help people learn, you know, because we're all afraid of screwing up. Like if we know better, we'll do better.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah, absolutely. And even, I think something as simple as an addition to the adding the pronouns into social media and email and, and intake forms and things like that, uh, even just going back through and scouring your sales pages and websites, and then looking for more inclusive photos. I do believe that Unsplash has some, and I don't know if there are others. I know vice just released.
Mason Aid: It doesn't say. Yeah, they just released, um, there's more options there. There's still not many, it's still a challenge, but they exist more and more and more. So it's going to get easier.
Erika Tebbens: Yeah. And, uh, and what about other stuff? Cause I know that you do custom one-on-one work with people or you do full audits of written stuff. So talk to me about that.
Mason Aid: Um, full website audits, where I go through your entire website and tell you what needs to be changed. It kind of gives you a style and language guide, um, on, on what the best practices are.
Um, I do one-on-one consultations where. We kind of go in and look at your systems and processes and how you can really make those more inclusive, um, kind of taking the step back and letting me look at at how things work and, and what we can do, um, to make it, to make it better and to really reach the community.
Um, I also love helping strategize on, on marketing to the LGBT community in an authentic manner. You know, it's really easy to market in, in an unintentionally kind of gross. And I just want your money sort of way. Um, but there are some really creative ways that you can reach the community. Um, without it, with it feeling really authentic and from a caring good space.
Right. Which is what we want to do. You know, we, we don't want to be like, Oh, here's a rainbow. Give me your money; which so many companies do so many companies do. Um, but you know, when you really want to stand in an active allyship with the community, you know, there are a lot of background and internal things that you can change, um, and policies and processes that, that really have a bigger impact than, than slapping a website on your, or slapping a rainbow on your website and calling it good, right?
Like those are the things that really need to change are those systems and processes that, you know, really hurt people like trans people are underemployed. By a lot and, you know, faced workplace discrimination tremendously. Um, and even if you're not hiring, like you can be aware of these things and that has a big impact in like, Oh, trans people attempt suicide at a 40% rate.
Okay. Maybe yes. It's just my tiny business, but maybe asking someone their pronouns will literally help save their life. Like that's, that's the state we're in, as far as the mental health crisis with LGBT, especially trans individuals, is that we don't feel seen. And, and that's a really dangerous place.
And like every time someone sees me for who I am, whether it's, you know, random Erika on the internet, or, you know, my wife, like it's a weight off my shoulders. Um, so like the way we show up for others will literally save lives. Like even whether it's our businesses or ourselves, it's powerful. It's really powerful.
Erika Tebbens: It is. And I will say just as a little aside that if, uh, for people to look up, um, and I'll, I'll put a link in the, in the show notes too, but bystander training. Cause I know a lot of times we think, Oh, it's this stuff. This open discrimination is just happening, happening in the Midwest or in the South. Uh, but that is not true because it two times in one week in the greater Boston area, A friend of mine was very publicly harassed.
Uh, and he's, he's a trans man and I know we think, you know, well, it needs liberal cities. It's just smooth sailing for, for people in the community. And it's definitely not. And there were, uh, There were some times, or there were people around in both of those instances who did not step in as, as helpful by standards.
So I know that really doesn't have anything to do with business, but I feel like if people are listening and they want to be helpful, one way you can do that, that requires no money is to get a little bystander training.
Mason Aid: Yes.
Erika Tebbens: As well. And, uh, and yet, and I know do you, um, I know you have done speaking, are you doing more speaking this year or can book you for speaking?
Mason Aid: I love to speak every chance I get the stage is my happy place. Um, I, I love to speak about how to be an active ally. Um, and I love to, I love to share my personal story. You know, I grew up conservative Southern Baptist and I hated myself. And, you know, I went from being in inpatient and psychiatric ward, seven times in seven years to being like a successful married entrepreneur who is, you know, living their best life at 34 when at 20 I applied for disability.
Um, I love to share that story because you know, it has such an impact on, on people who have an impact on others, you know, it's the butterfly effect.
Erika Tebbens: Absolutely. I love all of that. I'm going to put every single thing in those, in the show notes for this episode. And is there anything else, any final takeaways or anything that you want to leave the listener with?
Mason Aid: Um, you're, you're doing great. You're doing great. Step one. You're listening to this. You're taking steps to educate yourself more. You know, like I said, you're not going to be perfect, but it's okay. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to, to be perfect and to never mess up. And I think we just need to accept that it's messy and, and to get in the muck and the figure it out and to navigate it together, you know, you're not alone in this and, and you're doing great.
Keep on, keeping on.
Erika Tebbens: Awesome. I love it. Well, thank you, Mason. And I hope that people. Go check you out and learn more from you because you're super rad. And I just, I love the work that you're doing and I'm happy to share it as often as I can. So thank you for being my very first guest on my podcast.
Mason Aid: Thank you for having me, it's super fun.
