Ep. 001: How to Make Selling FUN!
There are different ways to sell, but we tend to think of selling in the way that can make it feel more icky: transactional selling.
Transactional selling really comes down to a business wanting to make a sale, rather than creating a customer for life through relationship building and a great customer experience.
What I teach my clients and students is a a method I like to call “relational selling.”
In relational selling, the point is to focus on building a relationship between a potential client/customer and your brand. This doesn’t necessarily mean you get to know every single person on a one-to-one basis, but it means you want people to know, like, and trust your brand before they commit to spending money.
Not only is relational selling more enjoyable, but it creates raving fans for your brand! These are people who will come back again and again, and tell their friends about you.
Tune in to learn more about how you can start selling smarter and in a way that feels fun, instead of gross or pushy.
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED TODAY:
Join my free Facebook community for additional tips & support: The Sell it, Sisterhood!
Get my free No-Sleaze Sales Method delivered right to your inbox: Get Instant Access Here
Read my blogpost about selling without feeling sleazy.
Read my blogpost about being patient with relational selling.
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Erika Tebbens: Hello, and welcome to today's episode since we are going to be talking. So, so much about relational selling over the course of this podcast and in what I talk about, I want it to make sure to start off with an episode that is strictly devoted to what relational selling is and what it is.
Not at least in my opinion. And that way in future episodes, or if you're on any of my other training webinars or anything like that, that way, at least we have some sort of framework on what to go off of when you hear me say relational selling. So I am a huge believer in relational versus transactional selling especially when it comes to women in business, because transactional selling can feel very icky.
It can feel like an impersonal numbers game, but relational selling actually feels really, really good. It's a lot more enjoyable. It feels more natural and I think that this is where, you know, when I work with my clients and I teach them about relational selling, this is where it starts to feel really good instead of gross.
So before I go into what relational selling is, I want to talk a little bit about what it isn't and I want to talk specifically about what I like to call transactional selling. So like I already said, this is where it can feel kind of icky.
This is sort of that. Spray and pray method that unfortunately, a lot of network marketing companies teach, which is, you know, just reach out to anyone and everyone, you know, people you haven't spoken to in 15 years and just let them know about your product or your opportunity and then fingers crossed they will be interested and they'll want to be on board.
And that is just it's really, uh, it's, it's a huge time-waster it does not feel good at all and it's why that industry has such a high burnout rate and why a lot of people on the outside of that industry, are really have really soured on it in a lot of ways because they hate getting those messages in their inbox.
But this goes for way more than network marketing I think that's just a really common example that we can grasp because we've all gotten the weird, the weird, a Facebook message from somebody we haven't spoken to since high school, who's telling us about their product and it feels very impersonal and very transactional.
So about 10 years ago. Exactly. When we had just moved back to New York, I was reading the Four-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. So we'd moved out here, I had left my corporate retail management job. I wanted a different path because our son was really little and working in retail management is just not ideal on a family schedule.
So I was really looking into the world of entrepreneurship and having a business of my own and how I could work around also taking care of our son. And so I was reading a bunch of different books and one of them was the Four-Hour Workweek. And I know it's a, you know, New York times, best seller, and a lot of people have read it and they've loved it.
And it sounds very intriguing and enticing. But what I found is. It was very much based on this kind of set it and forget it, somewhat model of running a business, which is just not where my heart is at and it's the clients that I love working with, that's, it's not where their heart is that either we, we are passionate, we are in it.
We want to know our clients, our customers, and, uh, feel really involved in what we're doing in a positive way, not in a burnout way. So there's this story in the Four-Hour Workweek that is about finding those black and white striped French boating shirts. If you know what I'm referring to, and it's about finding a company that drops ships them, and then setting up a website. And then I forget, you know, cause this was 10 years ago, I forget if it's like you're running ads or whatever to get to the website so people can buy it. I don't remember that part, but basically the, the notion is that you get this automated business set up where people can just go online and order these shirts and you're not holding the inventory, it gets drop-shipped from somewhere else and you just make the money and you check in, you know, once a week to make sure everything is kind of running smoothly, smoothly on that end.
And honestly, that just seems so boring to me. Now I know that, you know, it could totally work. You could totally set up a set it and forget it system like that. And then check in from time to time or hire a VA or whatever. But. It feels so incredibly impersonal.
So that is how I view transactional selling in my mind. It's the easiest thing for my brain to revert back to when I think of transactional selling. I also think of things like, uh, you know, whenever we think of really icky or sleazy selling, we think of the late night infomercials or the really pushy car salesman. And those things are really about volume.
It's about really convincing people and almost like strong arming them and to do business with you into doing business with you. And it's less about, uh, you know, finding out what somebody like really wants and what they, you know, what would serve them best right now.
And all of that. Now I will say, if you are an introvert and you're like, Oh my gosh, relational selling sounds like Erika wants me to literally get to know every single person who does business with me. And that feels like a total overwhelming nightmare. That is not what I mean when I say relational selling either.
It, especially if you are selling a high volume of products or like digital courses or something like that, they're really is, is not enough time, there's no way you would want to get to know everyone. And not everyone buying from you is gonna want to like, you know, sit down and chit chat with you over coffee either.
It's more of the fact that you are approaching the whole selling process as this holistic, a whole person relationship building exercise, rather than just thank you for your money and have a wonderful day kind of a situation. So why do I love relational selling? And there's a few reasons. So relational selling creates raving fans.
So raving fans are the people who are going to come back again and again, and they are going to tell their friends. So they are going to be giving you free marketing which is amazing because it means that you don't have to hustle so hard on the front end to get new people in the door. Quote-unquote, you know, whether that's a, a physical door, you have a brick and mortar shop or the door of your website or your Facebook group, your social media or whatever.
And what is really, really awesome about that is that, you know, you're, it's, it's going to give your business a lot of momentum and it will feel really good when you know that you are seeing those same people again and again, and again, now you might not have a lot of different products or offerings that they can come back and repurchase, but it could just mean that they are in your, your community group.
Like maybe they've bought a course from you. I know I'm this way with, uh, Denise Duffield Thomas, the Money Bootcamp. I have read her books. She just has a new book out right now. Shepreneur. I ordered it on the pre-order and everything because I am a raving fan of Denise's.
So even though she doesn't necessarily have a ton of different things that I can go back and read, purchase again and again, I can absolutely be a raving fan, be heavily involved and participatory in her community and I can want to buy each new thing, you know, every few years when she has something new to offer I'm here for it.
And I'm also always referring people to her courses and her books. Uh, I will say too, that I'm going to have the very next episode is going to be all about know, like, and trust, but when you allow people to know, like, and trust you through your business and through the sales process, they are way more likely to spend money with you because we enjoy spending money with people that we know like and trust.
So as a little exercise for you, I want to, I want you to think about for just a second, a place where you love to spend your money. Now this could be a physical place, maybe it's a restaurant or a cafe or a clothing store, something that is right in the area where you live, maybe it's somebody who sells something online, whatever it is, think of a place where even if they raised their rates, uh, you know, a little bit here and there, you know, year after year you would keep going back. You wouldn't bat an eyelash, you would still be happy to, uh, to spend all of your money, not all of your money. You'd still be happy to spend some of your money with them.
And you are constantly telling other people that they should go check out that physical place or that online store or whatever it is and chances are when you think about that place, part of why you love it. Is that you feel like you sort of have a relationship with that business. So this could be an actual place.
Like we have a restaurant in our town. We joke that it's like our version of cheers. We go there almost every Friday. We have been going for years and we just feel very welcome there. They know us, they are super friendly. It just feels good to spend our money there. We feel respected. We feel valued. And there are plenty of online businesses that I love to shop with as well, because I also feel like even if it's a big company or a business, you know, I mean, I go to target practically every week and spend plenty of money there because I feel like there is this quality of they get me.
They appreciate me. And then I think about places where, you know, I've gone and maybe have tried it out and it felt kind of meh. And usually it's because it felt like I was just another number and it didn't feel special. It didn't feel like I, it, you know, in, in the vast array of all the places that we could spend our money nowadays, it didn't feel like this was a place that was worthy of me spending money time and again.
So, you know, think about that; think about the places that make you feel like you are valuable and you are appreciated and you are happy to continue to spend money with them and tell your friends about them.
So another thing about relational selling is that people will continue. Like it's, it's easier and I don't have the stats in front of me. I will do them in a future episode specifically about raving fans. But, um, it, it is easier to maintain an existing customer. It's easier and cheaper to maintain an existing customer then to try to get new ones. So it, you know, especially if you're running anything like ads or stuff like that, it is going to cost you money to get more people into the top of your sales funnel than it is to just keep on nurturing the people who you already have and making them feel really good.
And this also just feels better for you. When you start to feel like you have this bond with your clients, it actually emotionally feels better. And again, I don't mean like, you know, you know, the name of their spouse and their children and when their birthday is and yada, yada, yada.
That might not be, that might not make sense for the business that you run. I just mean that when you know, time and again, when you see that name pop up, that they've bought something for you or they reached back out to you and they want to do future work with you, or they're connecting you with perhaps a new lead.
It feels really damn good. But one thing I will say, and I'm gonna attach in the show notes a link to, um, some blog posts around it, but one of them is about the fact that it takes a little bit of time. So I love the analogy of, you know, if you think of a big train and a train takes some time to get out of the station from going at, you know, zero, zero miles an hour, total standstill to get it chugging along, moving outside of the station onto the open track.
It takes a little bit of, uh, a push and, uh, you know, uh, kind of like a grind to get it going. But once that train is going, once it is at full speed, it is chugging right along. And then it's really hard to get it to stop. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of force to get that train that is just flying down the tracks to stop.
So, a lot of times, people in business get really discouraged because we live in this time where things are very instant. And we also are bombarded with ads all the time, especially on social media of all these people saying like, you know, six figures in three months and blah, blah, blah, you know, all that kind of marketing.
And it feels like when that doesn't happen for us, then something is wrong with us. Something is wrong with our business. We should just throw in the towel. But the reality is, is that it can take a little bit of time to get that relational selling train, moving on the tracks. But once it's going, once you start getting those first clients, then the second clients, then the third clients, and you are really nurturing them and treating them well and appreciating them.
And. Encouraging them to, uh, share you with their friends and family and colleagues and whomever. Then that train starts to pick up a lot of speed. And that is when it starts to, you have a lot of momentum behind your process and it starts to get a lot easier and even more fun. And everything just feels better.
And again, it's so much easier to, you know, once that train is going fast, it's so much easier to keep it going fast and getting results that you want rather than the constant start and stop of a transactional relationship.
So, if you have any questions about that, obviously reach out to me. If you are listening to this, you got any inspiration or whatever. I would love it. If you screen shared it and then put it in your Instastories and tag me, because again, I'm a big believer in forming relationships with you.
So I want to know who you are. I want to know that you got value from this episode, and if you feel stuck or confused or anything. Just reach out to me on social media @erikatebbensconsulting
I am here for you. So I hope that helps and happy selling.
