How to Handle Your Fear of Being Judged (so it doesn’t stop you from selling)

Fear of selling is everywhere. And we have to talk about it.

We have to talk about it because you have to sell. If you can’t sell, you don’t have a business – or at least not a profitable business.

A while back, I did a poll in my old Facebook group (now retired) and asked a bunch of different questions about selling. 

THE RESULTS: fear of selling is rooted in a fear of being judged by the person you're talking to. 

We're all selling all the time when we are in business. Even if we're not actively selling, even if it's not a specific product or offering, we are selling ourselves. We're selling our brand. 

If you’re afraid of being judged based on who you are, then you’ll need to reframe your mindset. 

To do that, we gotta cover some good news and some bad news.

The Bad News: You Will Be Judged

Your fear was technically correct. People will judge you! 

It’s just the nature of the beast that is being alive. 

There are always going to be people who think you shouldn't charge whatever you charge, or wonder what makes you so qualified, or ten trillion other things. There are always, always, always going to be those people, whether you hear from them or not.

You’re not going to be for everybody.

I’m not for everybody! Maybe they think I'm too laid back. Maybe they don't like my brand colors and fonts, or maybe they don't like my tattoos or that I have my hair dyed funky colors. Or they’re in network marketing, and they are offended because I only make my courses available to them, and I don't do one-on-one or group coaching with them. 

There are probably people who want a business coach who puts more “woo woo” into the work. And other people might want someone they can check in with every day, or who makes super involved Excel spreadsheets for them.

Will this potential client judge me because I don't have those offerings? Maybe!

But that's fine – we are all allowed to make our own choices about how we spend our money and who we spend our money with.

The Good News: The World is Big Enough For You

You might be thinking, “But I don't want to be judged! I want everyone to like me!”

But it’s inevitable that someone will judge you… And that’s a good thing!

Knowing it's inevitable also means you don't have to freak out about it!

This world is big enough and broad enough for someone to be doing something similar to what you do, and those people that aren’t the right fit can look elsewhere.

That’s why you don’t need to freak out about competition.

If somebody wants to work with a different person who does something slightly similar to me, then it means that we were not the right fit to begin with. 

And I know that by being my own authentic self, some people will decide that I am not right for them. But being genuine also makes it easier for the perfect fit people to find me. 

Challenge The Story You Tell Yourself 

Figure out the root of your fear of judgment, then ask yourself if it’s possible for you to be successful in spite of that. 

Step back. Be objective. Get curious about where that feeling is coming from.

For example, if it’s about your appearance, ask yourself if it’s an old story. Were you picked on for that as a kid? Then, try to flip it around and see whether you can think of people who have similar characteristics, and have had success.

In the beginning, I thought, “Well, I can't be successful and have funky hair, be different, and stand out from the crowd,” it would be because my high school was very preppy and put together and I was the weirdo.

But I know that there are people out there with funky hair, facial piercings, and tattoos, and they are very successful! 

I can challenge the old story with the truth.

Embrace Different Priorities

When it comes to raising prices, know that everyone has a different benchmark of comfort when it comes to price, and values items and services differently.

You might think the amount I spend getting my hair done is horrifying. It’s not. We just have different priorities! It doesn’t make me wrong to spend that money on my hair. 

It doesn't matter what we decide to spend our money on or prioritize, whether it’s food, travel, education, clothing, or something else – we all have different opinions on the acceptable amount to spend on those things.

Same is true in our businesses. Our rates might seem absurd to someone but make sense to our ideal client. Our rates might be too low to someone but just right for us.

People will have opinions. Even having free things doesn’t spare you people’s opinions (and complaints).

I have a ton of free content – my podcast, this blog, Instagram. For the people who can't or don't want to pay me, it's free. 

I'm sure there are some people who don't like it, but that's okay. 

There are other people who are happy to hire me, happy to work with me, and happy to get my courses. They are going to view what they spend with me as an investment in their business.

Be You!

We are hardwired to judge; it’s part of our human experience. 

This is the collateral of running a business. By choosing not to work with someone, I'm not being a hater, because I'm not going out of my way to tell them, “I think you're doing it wrong.” That would just make me an asshole.

The goal is not to make your business judgement-proof. 

The goal is to show up for the people who are going to be the best fit for you, and be as open and honest and as authentic as possible. 

After that, you just let the chips fall! Someone’s judgement is a reflection on them and their priorities, not you.

You can’t please everyone, so please don’t try!

If you try to be lukewarm, you will never get to where you want to be. Embrace the fact that not everyone is a good fit for you, and trust that your perfect people will find you.