What The Finger-Wagging Content Influx of 2020 Taught Me About Running an Ethical Business

Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Who, me? Oh, I’m not a leader”? That’s true for a lot of the people I work with, too – they wouldn’t self-identify as leaders. But they (and you!) are.

How do I know? Because you’re probably someone who regularly reflects on your values and considers whether you’re really living into them.

In the summer of 2020, we witnessed a long-overdue cultural shift. People were finally becoming aware of injustices that others had been trying to get them to wake up to for a long, long time. It was an amazing moment when a lot of necessary conversations finally started to happen.

But at the same time, this shift also led to more discussion about what is right and what is wrong in business… which gave way to a lot of fiery, finger-wagging content… which gave plenty of business owners (including me!) a lot of anxiety as well as the chance to reflect on what I like to call your truth.

What is your truth?

Start by asking yourself:

• What matters to me most in relation to what I do, why I do it, and who I do it for? 

• How does it align with my values and the values of the people that I want to serve? 

That is your truth. It's your brand promise. It's the thing that sets you apart from all of the other people who do something similar to what you do. 

But your truth can’t be a “set it and forget it” thing

Why? Because there are moments in time when we all have to revisit our truth – especially if you’re someone who has your finger on the pulse of the world.

When all of this finger-wagging content emerged in 2020, people got all hot and bothered by it… and they really engaged with it. Which, of course, led creators to double down on that type of content (I mean, of course they were – it was really resonating with their audiences!).

And THAT gave me a lot of anxiety.

It wasn’t just me. Based on what I was seeing in the comments section, other business owners were feeling it, too. They were asking the creators of this finger-wagging content whether what they were doing was okay – looking for permission slips and blessings from them.

They were also asking themselves good questions, like:

Am I replicating systems of harm?

But there were also other questions, like:

Am I a fundamentally evil human if I do or don’t say [insert thing here] in my marketing? 

My anxiety started to creep into how I showed up in my business. Before I could do anything like post a sales page or share stories on Instagram, I would hyper-analyze it. I would worry, “If [certain person] sees this, are they going to call me out? Will they say I’m problematic? Will I be canceled?

I imagined them rallying the troops and coming at me with pitchforks.

And then I realized that I was so paranoid that I wasn’t showing up in my truth… while also being complicit in the finger-wagging.

I had two major a-ha’s:

1. It’s not about fucking up

Walking on eggshells so that you don’t ever have to apologize is not helpful.

Being as mindful and compassionate as possible so that you don’t cause harm while also knowing we all have areas of oversight is much better. 

Also? Even when our intentions aren’t bad, we still need to restore justice to the situation.

I’m willing to do that. What I am not willing to do is water down my message and the impact I know I have for fear of being called out.

2. It’s a waste of time and energy to have your eyes on other people’s papers

It isn’t helpful to spend your resources being anti-the-things-you-don’t-like rather than doubling down on being pro-the-things-you-believe-in.

My motto has always been that I want to serve my people, and that you can show up in your business and sell because that is what you want, too.

The finger-wagging and shaming didn’t actually serve – it just put people more on edge. It didn’t help me, or anyone, prioritize their energy and do what moved their business forward while respecting their needs for rest. 

So going forward, I decided I was going to ask myself:

• Is this in line with my integrity?

• Is this in line with my values?

• Is this in line with truly serving people? 

It’s all part of the reckoning I had to do with myself.

It is really uncomfortable to realize, “Oh my God, this thing that I don’t like… have I been doing THAT? Am I a total fucking hypocrite? Have I, under the guise of calling out harmful stuff, actually been causing more harm!?”

At the same time, I knew there were people in my audience who loved that kind of fiery, call-out content, which meant they might not resonate with me going forward. 

I had to recognize and accept that that’s the natural ebb and flow of business. While I could get weirdly in my head and worry about the potential revenue loss, I’d rather just ask, “What’s more important to me: that last sale, or living into my integrity?”

And you know, the answer is always going to be integrity.

You get to choose whatever you want to do in your business

If there is a strategy or a tactic that does not sit right with you, then as a leader, you have the opportunity to figure out what else you can do.

A few years ago, one of my clients was planning a launch. She told me she knew she should do an early bird bonus, but it just didn’t sit right with her. What if people missed out?

So, as her coach, I asked, “What would feel good? What would feel in line with your integrity?”

It’s a crucial question, because at the end of the day, there’s always going to be somebody who doesn’t like what you’re doing. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with it. If you have a well-thought-out, purposeful, intentional reason for what you’re doing, then that’s what matters.

As your business continues to grow, there will be people who take issue with what you do or how you do it. Most of the time, you’ll never know about it. They’ll either complain in their own head, or they’ll complain to their besties. Is that uncomfortable to think about? Yes. It sucks. But that’s just how it is.

The beauty of being an entrepreneur is that you can have a change of heart and make a shift. The finger-wagging did not leave space for that, and that’s why I’m leaving it behind. 

I don’t want to ever be the online marketing police of what is ethical and what’s not. I don’t want to be the arbiter. I don’t want to be the gatekeeper.

I want nuance. I want conversation. I want consideration. I want to help people discern for themselves what is best for them, for their business, and for their clients. 

I share all of this with you because I think transparency is comforting. When I see people that I like to learn from sharing the ugly side of business, I’m like, “Oh, thank God, I’m not broken.”

It's not just me. And it’s not just you. We are not fundamentally flawed in some way. 

I’m here to help you find solutions – not just to tell you what doesn’t work. There will be messy moments when we all realize we need a shift, but it’s possible to move through it without wallowing in the muck.

As leaders, we can hold ourselves to high standards and still hold ourselves accountable for our actions.